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Thread: Postman Pat

  1. #1
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    Postman Pat

    It was Postman Pat’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

    When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.

    At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

    The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

    At the fourth house he was met at the door by a blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

    When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage and tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a pound coin in the saucer.

    ‘All this was just too wonderful for words,’ he said, ‘but what’s the pound for?’

    ‘Well,’ said the blonde, ‘last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you.

    ‘I asked him what I should give you?'

    ‘He said, ‘F**k him. Give him a quid.’

    She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."

  2. #2
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    ^ Heh...DJ Pat did quite well...(And I didn't say panties once)...555...

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    Good joke Crepitas..

    She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."
    Classic last line....thank you

  4. #4
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    Why the coloured font?
    It was Postman Pat’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

    When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.

    At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

    The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

    At the fourth house he was met at the door by a blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

    When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage and tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a pound coin in the saucer.

    ‘All this was just too wonderful for words,’ he said, ‘but what’s the pound for?’

    ‘Well,’ said the blonde, ‘last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you.

    ‘I asked him what I should give you?'

    ‘He said, ‘F**k him. Give him a quid.’

    She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."
    Better to think inside the pub, than outside the box?
    I apologize if any offence was caused. unless it was intended.
    You people, you think I know feck nothing; I tell you: I know feck all
    Those who cannot change their mind, cannot change anything.

  5. #5
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    [quote=VocalNeal;3368818]Why the coloured font?

    Dunno ..got emailed joke from my sister in UK.

    It was Postman Pat’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

    When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.

    At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

    The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.

    At the fourth house he was met at the door by a blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

    When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: bacon, eggs, sausage and tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a pound coin in the saucer.

    ‘All this was just too wonderful for words,’ he said, ‘but what’s the pound for?’

    ‘Well,’ said the blonde, ‘last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you.

    ‘I asked him what I should give you?'

    ‘He said, ‘F**k him. Give him a quid.’

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by biff
    Good joke Crepitas..

    She smiled shyly and said, "The breakfast was my idea."
    Classic last line....thank you
    What he said. Perfick

  7. #7
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    Haha..
    Sort of reminds me when I was a teenage grocery delivery boy to pay for gas for my ancient Lambretta LD.
    Told my customers of my last day as I had finished school and had a job.
    Only one old lady gave me sixpence..Thank fk she did not appear in a negligee.


    Much later as the quintessential ‘telephone repair man’ a couple of times was confronted with scantily clad housewives.. Sadly too embarrassed by my instant ‘woody’ and too naïve to realize the potential thereof… So many chances lost never to be regained!!!…lol

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    ^ Sly dog, you!...Carpe diem!...

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