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Jokes and funny stories The section for all the zany and humorous stuff. Post your favourite jokes and funniest pictures here, also videos from youtube etc can be posted here.

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Old 27-08-2013, 02:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Chinese Sex

While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you, you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it.”
The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.”
The doctor answers, “I’m sorry, there's no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.”
The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!”
The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option.”
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.”
The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!”
“Oh, thank God!” the man exclaims.
“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor. “Wait two week. Faw off by itself!
“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.” -- Wm. Buckley

Last edited by Boon Mee : 27-08-2013 at 04:36 PM.
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Old 27-08-2013, 02:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Nice one. When I was a kid in Germany I was in the hospital at Rhein Mein for surgery on a thumb. I was in a room with three GI's and a squid. The male nurse/medic came in one night and told us a great story.

This GI was on sick call one Monday morning with a case of drippy dick. It turns out he had the clap. The doc gave him a shot of penicillin up his shaft and said "Young man do not sleep with that women again".

The next Monday comes along and the same GI is on sick call. The doctor looks at him and shakes his head. He says "I told you not to go back there".

The GI replies "But doc it felt so good the night before"

LOL. He got the needle again.
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