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Texpat

Euro Muslims seek to restore virginity

By Elaine Sciolino and Souad Mekhennet
International Herald Tribune
June 10, 2008

The surgery in the private clinic off the Champs-Élysées involved one semicircular cut, 10 self-dissolving stitches and a discounted fee of $2,900.

But for the patient, a 23-year-old French student of Moroccan descent from Montpellier, the 30-minute procedure represented the key to a new life: the illusion of virginity.

Like an increasing number of other Muslim women in Europe, she had a "hymenoplasty," a restoration of her hymen, the thin vaginal membrane that normally breaks during the first act of intercourse.

"In my culture, not to be a virgin is to be dirt," said the student, perched on a hospital bed as she awaited surgery Thursday. "Right now, virginity is more important to me than life."

As Europe's Muslim population grows, many young Muslim women find themselves caught between the freedoms that European society affords and the deep-rooted traditions of their parents' and grandparents' generations.

Gynecologists report that in the past few years, more Muslim women are asking for certificates of virginity before marriage.

That trend in turn has created a demand among cosmetic surgeons for hymen replacements, which, if done properly, they say, will not be detected and will produce tell-tale vaginal bleeding on the wedding night. The service is widely advertised on the Internet; there are medical tourism packages to countries like Tunisia where the procedure is less expensive.

"If you're a Muslim woman growing up in more open societies in Europe, you can easily end up having sex before marriage," said Hicham Mouallem, a doctor in London who performs the surgery. "So if you're looking to marry a Muslim and don't want to have problems, you'll try to recapture your virginity."

There are no reliable statistics on how many women undergo the procedure because it is mostly done in private clinics and in most cases is not covered by tax-financed insurance plans.

But the subject of hymen repair is becoming so talked about that it has become the subject of a film comedy that opens in Italy this week. "Women's Hearts," as its title is translated in English, tells the story of a Moroccan-born woman living in Italy who takes a road trip to Casablanca for the operation.

"We realized that what we thought was a sporadic practice was actually pretty common," said Davide Sordella, the director. "These women can live in Italy, adopt our mentality and wear jeans. But in the moments that matter, they don't always have the strength to go against their culture."

The issue has been particularly charged in France, where there has been a renewed and fierce debate about a prejudice that was supposed to have been buried with the country's sexual revolution 40 years ago: the importance of a woman's virginity.

The furor followed the revelation two weeks ago that a court in the northern city of Lille had annulled the 2006 marriage of two French Muslims after the groom discovered his bride was not the virgin she had claimed to be.

The domestic saga has gripped the nation. The bridegroom, an unidentified engineer in his 30s, left the nuptial bed and announced to the still-partying wedding guests that his bride had lied about her past. She was delivered that night to her parents' doorstep.

The next day, he asked a lawyer to annul the marriage. The bride, then a nursing student in her 20s, confessed the truth to the court and agreed to an annulment.
In its ruling, there was no mention of religion. Rather, it cited breach of contract, concluding that he had married her after "she was presented to him as single and chaste."

In secular, republican France, the case touches on several sensitive subjects: the intrusion of religion into daily life, the grounds for dissolution of a marriage and the equality of the sexes.

There were calls in Parliament this week for the resignation of Rachida Dati, the minister of justice, after she upheld the ruling. Dati, who is a Muslim, backed down and ordered an appeal.

Some feminists, lawyers and doctors warned that the court's acceptance of the centrality of virginity in marriage would encourage more French women from Arab and African Muslim backgrounds to have their hymens rebuilt. But there is much debate over whether the procedure is an act of liberation or repression.

"The judgment was a betrayal of France's Muslim women," said Elizabeth Badinter, a feminist writer. "It sends these women a message of despair by saying that virginity is important in the eyes of the law. More women are going to say to themselves: 'My God, I'm not going to take that risk. I'll recreate my virginity."'

The plight of the rejected bride persuaded the Montpellier student to go ahead with the surgery.

She insisted that she had never had intercourse and said that she had discovered her hymen was torn only when she tried to obtain a certificate of virginity to present to her boyfriend and his family.

She said she had bled after an accident on a horse when she was 10.
The trauma of realizing that she could not prove her virginity was so intense, she said, that she quietly took out a loan to pay for the procedure.

"All of a sudden, virginity is important in France," she said. "I realized that I could be seen like that woman everyone is talking about on television."

Surgeons who perform the procedure said they were empowering their patients by giving them a viable future and preventing them from being abused - or even killed - by their fathers or brothers.

"Who am I to judge?" asked Marc Abecassis, the plastic surgeon who restored the Montpellier student's hymen. "I have colleagues in the United States whose patients do this as a Valentine's present to their husbands. What I do is different. This is not for amusement. My patients don't have a choice if they want to find serenity - and husbands."

A specialist in what he calls "intimate" surgery, including penile enhancement, Abecassis says he performs two to four hymen restorations a week.

The French College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians opposes the hymen procedure on moral, cultural and health grounds.

"We had a revolution in France to win equality; we had a sexual revolution in 1968 when women fought for contraception and abortion," said Jacques Lansac, the association's president. "Attaching so much importance to the hymen is regression, submission to the intolerance of the past."

But the stories of the women who have had the surgery capture the complexity and raw emotion behind their decision.

One 32-year-old Macedonian-born Muslim said that she had chosen the surgery to avoid being punished by her father after her relationship with her boyfriend of eight years ended.

"I was afraid that my father would take me to a doctor and see whether I was still a virgin," said the woman, who owns a small business and lives on her own in Frankfurt. "He told me, 'I will forgive everything, but not if you have thrown dirt on my honor.' I wasn't afraid he would kill me, but I was sure he would have beaten me."

In other cases, the woman and her partner together decide on the surgery. A 26-year-old French woman of Moroccan descent said she lost her virginity four years ago when she fell in love with the man she was now planning to marry. She and her fiancé decided to share the cost of her $3,400 hymen replacement surgery in Paris.

His extended family in Morocco is very conservative, she said, and required that a gynecologist - and family friend - in Morocco examine her for proof of virginity before their wedding.

"It doesn't matter for my fiancé that I am not a virgin, but it would pose a huge problem for his family," she said. "They know that you can pour blood on the sheets on the wedding night, so I have to have better proof."

Meanwhile, the lives of the young French couple whose marriage was annulled are on hold. The Justice Ministry has asked the Lille prosecutor for an appeal, arguing that the court decision "provoked a heated social debate" that "touched all citizens of our country and especially women." At the Islamic Center of Roubaix, the suburb of Lille where the marriage took place, there is sympathy for the woman.

"The man is the biggest of all the donkeys," said Abdelkibir Errami, the center's vice president. "Even if the woman was no longer a virgin, he had no right to expose her honor. This is not what Islam teaches. It teaches forgiveness."

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/06/10/europe/virgin.php?page=2

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Sure Abdelkibir, keep telling yourself that ... Tell that to the 32-year-old who was afraid of being beaten by her father following her 8-year-long relationship. Tell it to the bride dumped on her parents doorstep on her wedding day. Tell it to the girls lined up at the clinic to get their virgin certificates.

Norton

Guess the surgery trumps the lie.

Morden

It's not the only religion that's cruel, of course, but it's sick nevertheless.

Eliminator

You would have to be well and truly stupid to believe that the surgery will be bringing back your virginity. Oh well I guess that one has to conceder the source. Hell, they believe that if you kill anyone that is not muslim, (even other muslims) that there are going to be a bunch of virgins waiting for you when you die. Maybe all these muslim women have this operation before they die so they can wait for all the suicide bombers.

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Eliminator
1986 Kawasaki 900

britmaveric

Only lying to themselves - pretty funny. Mate of mine who's Iranian told me iranian birds do this sort of thing. If found out not a virgin - invalidates the marriage.

Morden

It's not the only example of a religion offering a way around the rules. It's good for business.

Alex DeLarge

Deep-rooted traditions?

I love a bit of tradition

Reuters

Go Team Mohammed!

November Rain

Women, of all religions, have been undergoing this surgery, for varying reasons for years.

Women, of all religions have been lying about their virginity or lack of it & faking the pain & the bloodstained sheets for centuries.

Women, of all religions, have lost/ruptured their hymens without sexual intercourse & been judged or rejected because of that for centuries.

Men, of all religions, have been those that judged & made those women feel their actions were necessary.

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It is far easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.

Texpat

How many religions mandate it today?

Thousands of years ago drilling a hole in the skull was used for treating mental illness. Some of us have evolved.

Morden

You're right, of course. Some women and some men, at least. Religion is man-made and about control and abuse. It may have served a legitimate purpose in more primitive times but it's quite definitely now time for it to go.

Males don't escape entirely unscathed from mutilation and there is more mutilation of females than has yet been mentioned here. There are still places where Jewish male babies are circumcised by a Rabbi who sucks off the severed foreskin with his mouth. Imagine the infection in the old boys' teeth and also ask yourself why he would be willing to do such a thing.

DrB0b

Now that really is stupid!

Texpat

Agreed, but it's a gimmick for those with more money than sense.

Not a requirement to get married.

DrB0b

^can you still get married in the US if you're heterosexual?

Marmite the Dog

I agree with the Muslim take on this, and all sex before marriage should be up the bum.

Texpat

^^Dunno, never been married in the US.

But in Saudi Arabia, homosexuality is criminal. Punishable by death. Jail times, fines or whipping may be used in lieu of death.

toslti

And these people claim to come from 'the cradle of civilisation'?? ... I think not!

Mr Earl

More like the "rubbish bin of civilization" now I'm afraid.

Jet Gorgon

I think there should be a virginity test for men. STD checks would do for me. Then ask what his wet dream fantasies were.

kingwilly

On the grand scale of things it is most certainly repressive.

But on the day to day lives of women living in these cultures, the surgery is a liberating option. Unfortunately the more girls that do it, the more it will cement the underlying belief that women need to be virginal brides.



circular problem.

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