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  1. #1
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    TeakDoor Secrets Explained

    This little guide, originally written by DD, is dated but still gives a good idea of how TD works. Some of it is obviously obsolete (I hope the bit about never upgrading the gallery is, anyway) but I think it's still interesting. I'm re-posting it here because it answers some questions I see asked fairly often by newbies and old-hands alike and I think that many people would have difficulty finding where this document is normally linked from.

    I think it would also be a good starting point for discussion on how some things are done and how they could be improved, a change from the "we're all doomed" type of thread we've been seeing recently.
    ---

    TeakDoor Secrets Explained

    If you are reading this it means you most likely have joined TeakDoor, on joining us you stated you were 18 or over, this means you are supposedly an adult, we obviously expect you to act like one suprisingly enough, so lets get to the meat of this page then shall we...

    The Basics

    Before you post you need to understand that the forum is divided into three sections with a different standard in each section.
    a) Speakers Corner is where you can discuss intellectual stuff with a bunch of nutters.
    This is moderated so that threads stay on topic, kept civil and of course no flaming.
    Staying on topic means that moderation comments will be trashed.
    b) Main forum. Information, advice and trip reports. Light hearted, no flaming and keep it sensible.
    c) The Lounge, Members & The Dog House.
    Free speech allowed as much as possible, less moderation but keep family, threats and accusations out of it.
    Bumping

    We hate bumpers, if you bump a post that is old and add nothing of value to it we trash your post, remember, a smiley adds no value at all to any thread, neither does "great thread" or "nice pics", they are destined for the great trash bin in the sky.

    Additional Features

    As your post count increases you will be given extra features.
    Here are the post counts needed.
    5 posts; Post a picture
    50 posts; Post a hotlink
    50 posts; Send a PM
    50 posts+30days; Choose your signature
    50 posts+30days; Send Reputation
    100 posts; Access to Members forum
    1000 posts; Change your user title
    1000 posts; Turn off Repo display

    Using the Gallery & Posting Photos

    If you want to post pictures then you must upload them to an online gallery first.

    You can use the TeakDoor Gallery to store them.
    This is a test. If you are intelligent enough to upload to the gallery then you should be intelligent enough to know what sort of pictures are acceptable.
    Hundreds of people have passed the test, you have to do the same.
    Don't complain about it, we ain't going to change it, although you can learn how to use your gallery and post photos from the stickies here.

    Languages Allowed on TeakDoor

    TeakDoor allows 2 languages, Thai and English, everything else is classed as goobbledegook and will be trashed.

    Specific TeakDoor Forums

    The News Forum is suprisingly enough exactly that, it is for news from what people would consider news sites, yes even Fox News is considered a news site, but JoeBloggsIHateWhatever.blogspot.com is not a news site, it is a blog, so if you want to post a news story post it, also post where the news story comes from, if you don't then it will just be trashed, and no, we don't bother private messaging you when we trash your crap because you couldn't even be bothered to post the story and where it comes from together.
    Remember, the News Forum isn't for posting youtube clips or discussing your repo, it isn't for asking why your off topic posts got trashed, it is for news only, your repo is not and will never be "NEWS".

    Opinion Pieces in the news are just like A$$ holes we all have one, but opinions are not news, if you want to post an opinion piece as an opening post, post it in the Speakers Corner.

    Visa Forum is for immigration and visa queries and discussion.

    This forum will be kept on topic and as accurate as possible for the benefit of all members trying to get good advice. If you don't know the distinction between a visa, an extension, a permission to stay,TVE and VOA then don't bother giving advice because your post will be trashed.

    There is a forum called Thailand - The Royal Family.

    This is where you post anything and everything that mentions or references the Thai Royal Family, there is no other forum that this subject can be posted about in.

    The Pattaya Forum, now most people come to Pattaya due to the availability of women, we don't mind bar reviews or even gogo bar reviews, but we don't want blow by blow accounts of what you and dirty Noi did in some short time hotel.

    Advertising on TeakDoor

    Do you run your own business?
    Great, you can advertise on TeakDoor. The rates are very reasonable.
    If you try a sales pitch without paying it gets deleted, this applies to signatures as well.

    We have a free Classified Section if you want to sell personal items.



    • But I hate him/her. If you develop a dislike for another poster then you have the option to put the poster on ignore so that his posts are not displayed.
      This is much better than pretending you suffer from Tourettes for the next ten years.
    • We often get asked "I'm black, can I still post?" The answer is "yes" TeakDoor welcomes members of any creed or colour.
    • "Can I post if I'm gay?" The answer is "yes". Teakdoor welcomes members of any sexual preference.
    • "I'm heterosexual, a prolific poster and live in Bournemouth, can I post?" No, fuck off.
    • "I'm asian, female and want to get pregnant, can I post" Yes, but it might be quicker if you just email kingwilly direct.
    • Nigerian Scammers
      Are you a Nigerian Scammer? No-one on Teakdoor ever buys a mobile phone by mail order so don't bother trying to sell them here, you may want to check if we have you listed already in our Phone Sales Scam page.
    • Indian Spammers
      Now you maybe under the belief that the height of SEO is posting rubbish on different forums with your signature full of spam, believe me it is not, for one on TeakDoor neither Bots nor guests can see your signatures, but regardless of that we delete your posts, we then ban you, we also quite often email the company your spamming for with a nasty email asking them to cease and desist their spamming giving your IP and email address, doesn't look too good for you does it when we do that, may not help your reputation, but honestly we don't want your shit spam on our forum.
      Idiots


    We have a special place in our hearts and also on the forum for you special people, we call it The Dog House, here we proudly showcase some of the worlds greatest internet idiots, many are repeat offenders, and some will never be released again, you can learn more about our special members at our Prisoner Records Page.

    Deleted Posts/Threads

    So, your wondering where your post/thread went, well it was either moved to The Dog House or to the forum trash bin, so it hasn't been deleted just yet, it will stay there for around 3 days and will then be hard deleted from the forum, so if you believe your post had some merit to it you have 3 days to bring up the subject.
    You may also be banned from that particular thread in which case you won't be able to read or post in it.
    If you repost your trashed post again it will again be trashed and you will quite likely be joining some of the worlds greatest idiots in The Dog House.

    Don't Drink & Post

    Now this is a sensitive subject and most users can't afford a usb breathalyzer so we will try to guide you through this in our usual helpful manner.
    a) Monitor is completely illegible - Not turned on, hit the power button.
    b) Your computer has suddenly acquired an extra monitor - Double Vision, Wait 10 minutes and try again.
    c) The keyboard feels slimy and you can't read the letters - You've been sick, have a coffee and try again.
    d) No matter how slowly you type it always comes out as "fokwit, fokwit,fokwit" - Congratulations, you're ready to post
    The Above Post May Contain Strong Language, Flashing Lights, or Violent Scenes.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    But I hate him/her. If you develop a dislike for another poster then you have the option to put the poster on ignore so that his posts are not displayed.
    This is much better than pretending you suffer from Tourettes for the next ten years.
    Psst. Chass.

  3. #3
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    Thank you for the advice on getting accustomed to TD
    I never had any help apart from posting pissed and plagiarising "viz" comics in my comments, and somehow I survived.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi View Post
    Thank you for the advice on getting accustomed to TD
    I never had any help apart from posting pissed and plagiarising "viz" comics in my comments, and somehow I survived.
    It's great that you have no problem but it's obvious that many people do as there are a lot of questions about how TD works. We have lots and lots of info available but it's hard to find.

    I would like new posters and lurkers to feel comfortable here as that is the only way the forum will survive. One way of making them welcome is to let them know stuff you and me know off by heart but is incomprehensible to newcomers. Yes it may seem silly but it's obvious that becoming a TD regular is a hard slog. It shouldn't be. It's not a private club and we need to attract new people.

    You've been here a long time too, surely you want to see the forum keep going?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    It's not a private club and we need to attract new people.
    You must be joking ! Of course it's a private club. I repeat, this is one of the most unwelcoming forums on the Internet. The reputation system ensures that this is the case. Long term clowns bully newcomers.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Digby Fantona View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    It's not a private club and we need to attract new people.
    You must be joking ! Of course it's a private club. I repeat, this is one of the most unwelcoming forums on the Internet. The reputation system ensures that this is the case. Long term clowns bully newcomers.
    I agree that long term posters have too much rep power. I greened a poster in red earlier and changed him from one red blob to three green. That is not right. I believe that rep weighting can be changed. Although I do think that long term contributors should have extra weight in giving repo it shouldn't be heavy enough to make a huge difference.

    I suggested before that new posters should be immune from rep for their first N posts, say N = 500. What do you think of something like that, giving people a buffer zone while they settle in and get their bearings?

  7. #7
    Fresh Seaman CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    Why B0b, why?!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainNemo View Post
    Why B0b, why?!
    Because I want this forum to continue. Lots of people are complaining. A forum is mostly made by us, the content providers. Instead of whinging about it why don't we try to fix it?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    I suggested before that new posters should be immune from rep for their first N posts, say N = 500. What do you think of something like that, giving people a buffer zone while they settle in and get their bearings?
    That is definitely a step in the right direction. It's discouraging for newcomers to receive reds especially when they are accompanied by messages which are foul-mouthed and abusive.

    When I joined first I was not aware that moderators would act if a member bullied a newcomer and I just shut and put up. Two of the worst offenders were very well known posters and today I will name them for the first time.They were Bettyboo and Marmite The Dog. They must have driven a lot of people away.

    They were both untouchable. To be fair Bettyboo had contributed excellent construction threads. Marmite The Dog was apparently normal in his posts but very aggressive in private messages.

    I stayed the course and only dropped out to return immediately under my present name so I could prove to myself that the reputation system was dishonest. Now almost everybody has acknowledged that the reputation system has been abused and is in need of reform.

  10. #10
    Fresh Seaman CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    Because every attempt to fix it ends up with those who get off on trolling hijacking and derailing threads, attacking anyone who shows any hint of wanting a proper functioning forum, and killing threads by turning threads into a lowest common denominator quip competition. The admins have an odd way of pruning content, whilst allowing the trolls to prosper, and allowing forum to continue to drift and decay. Reposting this isn't fixing it.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1F2i0rYMj8

    we are all figments of our own imagination.

  11. #11
    Fresh Seaman CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Digby Fantona View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    I suggested before that new posters should be immune from rep for their first N posts, say N = 500. What do you think of something like that, giving people a buffer zone while they settle in and get their bearings?
    That is definitely a step in the right direction. It's discouraging for newcomers to receive reds especially when they are accompanied by messages which are foul-mouthed and abusive.

    When I joined first I was not aware that moderators would act if a memeber bullied a newcomer and I just shut and put up. Two of the worst offenders were very well known posters and today I will name them for the first time.They were Bettyboo and Marmite The Dog. They must have driven a lot of people away.

    They were both untouchable. To be fair Bettboo had contributed excellent construction thread.Marmite The Dog was apparently normal in his posts but very aggressive in private messages.

    I stayed the course and only dropped out to return immediately under my present name so I could prove to myself that the reputation system was dishonest. Now almost everybody has acknowledged that the reputation system has been abused and is need of reform.
    Bettyboo was a lefty waffler, a fellow traveller of that faction that includes worse candidates in bsnub, Humbert, raycarey, AntRobinson, and DrB0b to some extent, and maybe HarryBarracuda and a couple of others.

    Marmite the Dog, seemed like trying to be like a slightly more erudite version of DD in being very abrupt with people. Nowhere near as bad as Drandy or as tedious as Nawty. I don't remember him getting into shitfights.

    I really don't understand why you give a toss about the repo system, or why you bother reading the comments that go with them. It's bound to be redundent on a non-technical forum with no leadership.

  12. #12
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    Thanks. I had forgotten that Dr Andy was similarly aggressive.

    I can put up with the reputation system. I have proved this by showing that I am still here despite receiving abusive and hostile messages with reds.

    What we should concern ourselves with is people other than me. How do you think a normal person would react to such bullying ? They would leave and they have left.

    I acknowledge that there must be something wrong with me too. If I had had any sense I might well have left too.

  13. #13
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    OK. So would if be fair to say that some problems are (forgive the list format but I want to keep it clear)

    1) New users are bullied
    2) Some posters have a disproportionate amount of repo power
    3) Threads are easily derailed.

    On the left wing/right wing thing I think that's just one of those things. I hate some peoples opinions. Some people hate my opinions. IMO that's life and we just have to deal with it. In my experience purely hateful posts on either side get deleted eventually, maybe not as fast as we'd like though.

    The intimidating new users stuff really bothers me, it's an absolutely shitty way to behave. Is that a regular thing? I'd really appreciate if any new or low number of posts people would join in (if you can post in this part of the forum) - I guarantee I will not red you or ridicule you and if anybody does red you for it please tell me and I will stalk the bastards within an inch of their lives

  14. #14
    Fresh Seaman CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    I pop into this site for blocks of time when I'm around, and I've got bored of other things, and fancy just reading it like an alternative to a newspaper, often on a weekend morning. So I am not here continuously, and don't read much of the tennis matches that go on.

    What I notice is that there are fewer people contributing, and more of the contributions are of the endless shitflame variety, ranging from out and out unhinged abusiveness from SA and bsnub on political threads, to deranged verbose obsessive backbiting from AntR and TDB all over the place; and then the lower level tit for tat stuff. Amongst all that, you get a few stalwarts posting news articles, and threads of youtube links and silly/saucy pics, and increasingly rare photo thread... the latter being what most people (along with the actually informative/advice threads) would come for. I see fewer of the entertaining hard-luck stories, that used to be fun to read. I doubt there are many if any new people joining at all - I think anyone new joining would think - WTF - and just shake their head, or cringe, and leave... what is there here? occasional bits of useful info that come up on google searches that might get people to join; and then less and less to get people to join in. It's a dwindling digital nursing home. It needs taking over, and revitalising, and some technical fixes, and leadership.

  15. #15
    Fresh Seaman CaptainNemo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    OK. So would if be fair to say that some problems are (forgive the list format but I want to keep it clear)

    1) New users are bullied
    2) Some posters have a disproportionate amount of repo power
    3) Threads are easily derailed.

    On the left wing/right wing thing I think that's just one of those things. I hate some peoples opinions. Some people hate my opinions. IMO that's life and we just have to deal with it. In my experience purely hateful posts on either side get deleted eventually, maybe not as fast as we'd like though.

    The intimidating new users stuff really bothers me, it's an absolutely shitty way to behave. Is that a regular thing? I'd really appreciate if any new or low number of posts people would join in (if you can post in this part of the forum) - I guarantee I will not red you or ridicule you and if anybody does red you for it please tell me and I will stalk the bastards within an inch of their lives
    When I first joined, it wasn't long before I got Drandy trying to start on me, and it took a short while to get that this is how the place worked. I joined, like most people I think do, to get some info about something to do with Thailand from people with experience. Not long after trying to "join in", newbies get the attention of inveterate disrupters who bring nothing else but attempts at smart remarks, and it kind of sets the tone - it did for me.
    I think most people can live with the differences in politics, but the sort of shite that SA and bsnub have indulged in is beyond the pale, and it's indicative of how bad it is that them two and AntR and TNB and TuskegeeBen, to think of a few, are allowed to disrupt as much as they do.

    you bring people in on the google searches for Q&A stuff; people stay for the quality photo threads; and over time get into the more rough and tumble; but now the rough and tumble and trolls is way too dominant, and it's suffocating it. hte forum has no host; no leadership... it's not all about refugees from ThaiVisa...

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainNemo View Post
    I pop into this site for blocks of time when I'm around, and I've got bored of other things, and fancy just reading it like an alternative to a newspaper, often on a weekend morning. So I am not here continuously, and don't read much of the tennis matches that go on.

    What I notice is that there are fewer people contributing, and more of the contributions are of the endless shitflame variety, ranging from out and out unhinged abusiveness from SA and bsnub on political threads, to deranged verbose obsessive backbiting from AntR and TDB all over the place; and then the lower level tit for tat stuff. Amongst all that, you get a few stalwarts posting news articles, and threads of youtube links and silly/saucy pics, and increasingly rare photo thread... the latter being what most people (along with the actually informative/advice threads) would come for. I see fewer of the entertaining hard-luck stories, that used to be fun to read. I doubt there are many if any new people joining at all - I think anyone new joining would think - WTF - and just shake their head, or cringe, and leave... what is there here? occasional bits of useful info that come up on google searches that might get people to join; and then less and less to get people to join in. It's a dwindling digital nursing home. It needs taking over, and revitalising, and some technical fixes, and leadership.
    The tit-for-tat stuff is hugely irritating - I agree. I was really pleased to see beerlaodrinker's gold-mining thread and Hermann's barbecue/smoking posts in the dinner thread (he should have his own thread for those posts). They were/are (because they're not finished yet) wonderful. I'd love to see more threads like that, and I know I'm guilty of lots of shit too. But I think solid threads like that would attract large amounts of people. OK, one is SE Asia related and one is not but I'm still hanging on for every new post in each thread and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

  17. #17
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    I appreciate your efforts to confirm what i have said about bullying. Unfortunately, those who have been bullied and already left will not contact you. I agree all CaptainNemo's remarks and want what he wants.

  18. #18
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    I logged into my old forum name of Can123 a few minutes ago but unfortunately I was unable to prove the existence of bullying messages as I had already deleted them. The reputation system does not allow me to retrieve abusive comments made years ago.

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