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  1. #1
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Want good mayonnaise?? .....Forget it!

    I recently ran out of Kraft mayonnaise,the only brand in Thailand that I found edible, and though nowhere near the quality of Hellmans back home, it was near enough the real thing. Recently Kraft mayo switched from glass to plastic jars, and at some point in the past month have vanished altogether.

    Yesterday evening I was tired, hungry and fed up after visiting a Carrefour and both branches of Tops in Silom looking for edible mayonnaise but I was greeted each time by the same brands.

    Miracle Whip - Christ I can only imagine what this tastes like.

    Best Foods - tastes like it's been made from a powder mix.

    The other brand - sickly sweet synthetic muck that only Thais or children would touch.

    I ended up in a branch of Tesco's only to see that Kraft had totally gone. Maybe the other stuff wasn't that bad, so I accidentally knocked off a large jar onto the floor and, avoiding the glass, dipped my finger in and winced as I tasted its sickly sweet horribleness.

    I did the same to a Thai brand mayo and it was just as ghastly, so I left the store with my blood boiling and had to go without and have something else for my dinner.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat Pound Hound's Avatar
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    you could alwyas make your own.....

    I am being serious.... make it from scratch!

  3. #3
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Not a bad idea, hey perhaps I should make my own bread next time I fancy a sandwich before I go to work. What time would I have to set my alarm for?

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    I guarantee Tesco's own brand mayonnaise is the best. Not sweet and is as good as Kraft, in my opinion. You really have to look for it on the shelves as it doesn't particularly stand out. It comes in a 460ml glass jar with a yellow and white label on it.
    Death is natures way of telling you to slow down.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    I recently ran out of Kraft mayonnaise,the only brand in Thailand that I found edible, and though nowhere near the quality of Hellmans back home
    you say you want good mayonnaise then mention two bottled factory products that taste like old sperm (so I was told). Maybe that is what you like about them

    as was said, mayonnaise is easily made as long as you have a whisk and a little patience, plus good quality oil and vinegar (not found in those jars above.). Just make sure that each drop of oil is thoroughly whisked in before the next is added, especially at the beginning

    you can keep it for about a week in an airtight container
    I have reported your post

  6. #6
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ^ See post #3 and try to understand what I'm getting at.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    hey perhaps I should make my own bread next time I fancy a sandwich before I go to work. What time would I have to set my alarm for?


    Quote Originally Posted by DrAndy
    you can keep it for about a week in an airtight container



    see my post #5 before you become entangled in your own juices

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pound Hound View Post
    you could alwyas make your own.....

    I am being serious.... make it from scratch!
    Yeah, it's the only way. Not a difficult task, actually. A much superior product than any of that processed shite that passes itself off as mayo. Yet, I'm sure everyone has their own favourite brand of the crap....'cause they don't know any better.

  9. #9
    Can I still change this?
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    Bogon Tip #287

    When ordering a Mcdonalds or KFC over the phone, always ask for extra mayo and they put some in a nice sized pot for you.
    This pot normally contains about 3 normal servings of mayo and is nice shit.
    Never need to buy mayo again if you are a fat sod like me and order a Mcdonalds or KFC once a week.
    Black diamonds? I shit 'em.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
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    Gosh, it can be tough living here sometimes.

  11. #11
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Pound Hound View Post
    you could alwyas make your own.....

    I am being serious.... make it from scratch!
    Yeah, it's the only way. Not a difficult task, actually. A much superior product than any of that processed shite that passes itself off as mayo. Yet, I'm sure everyone has their own favourite brand of the crap....'cause they don't know any better.
    I was satisfied with my favorite brand of crap because it's convenient, i'll explain why - it's convenient because it takes seconds to apply - how long does it take to make real mayonnaise?

    Well, my mother is a pretty good cook and she couldn't do it without fucking it up but if you insist, i'll have a go at whisking some eggs and vinegar and pouring olive oil in oh so carefully.

    Oh should we keep on topic?

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pound Hound View Post
    you could alwyas make your own.....

    I am being serious.... make it from scratch!
    How much scratch do you need to make a jar?

  13. #13
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ^ That just sums up TeakDoor doesn't it - it mostly consists of comments that are so lame they are not worth the effort to type but are typed anyway because the person typing has either lost the will to live or doesn't know how to continue life. It's a sort of depression although you're not depressed, you just know your comment is christmas cracker tumbleweed yet post it anyway because there's absolutely nothing better to do.

    I'm not slagging you off Kurgen I've been there, it's awful.

  14. #14
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    Best Foods & Hellmanns is the same company.

  15. #15
    Philippine Expat Davis Knowlton's Avatar
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    The same problem exists in the Philippines. After ten years of making my own, I wandered into, of all places, a British pub a few months ago. They have a small grocery store attached, stocking all kinds of vile British 'food'. Mushy peas in a can - I shit you not. But, what do I find, HELLMAN'S! I buy one jar, open it, taste it, yep, it's the real deal. So, I buy six more. Now, every time I venture up to the city (have to go to the bank there occasionally), I pop in for a beer or ten and restock. Who knows how long it will last, but it sure is nice for the moment. They have a great beer assortment as well. Might be worth a look at some of the specialty shops, Scamp. Last place I would have expected to find it - who knew.....

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton
    Mushy peas in a can - I shit you not.
    I ordered mushy peas at a restaurant the other day, but they had ran out.

  17. #17
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    Carrefour On Nut stocks some Heinz mayonnaise which is reasonable. They only have the low fat version though for some reason.

  18. #18
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    SEA Traveler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton View Post
    Mushy peas in a can. .....
    sort of like refried beans which I must prefer over mushy green peas. yuk!

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    Miracle Whip - Christ I can only imagine what this tastes like.
    It's got spices and other crap in it that gives it a different (sweeter) taste from regular mayonnaise- I'm not a huge fan, but some people prefer it.

  20. #20
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman
    I guarantee Tesco's own brand mayonnaise is the best.
    I second that.
    Low in sugar and nicely sour.
    Just watch the sell by date and keep it in the fridge

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    I was satisfied with my favorite brand of crap because it's convenient
    Fine but maybe you should alter the title from "good" to "crap"

    I also use Hellmans but do not pretend it is good, just convenient

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by FailSafe View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    Miracle Whip - Christ I can only imagine what this tastes like.
    It's got spices and other crap in it that gives it a different (sweeter) taste from regular mayonnaise- I'm not a huge fan, but some people prefer it.
    Miracle Whip is fake mayonnaise. Makes me gag.
    As Marmite said, Hellmans an Best Foods are the same company.
    Who has the time to make mayonnaise to put on a sandwich. Get real.

  23. #23
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Also always bought Kraft but as you say can't find it anymore.

    Been using Best Foods Real Mayonnaise lately and find it comparable in taste. Maybe a bit more tart. Only viable alternative to Kraft I can easily find in Roiet.

    Be careful. Best Foods has 5 or 6 different products. All with similar labels. Very easy to inadvertently grab a jar of Salad Cream or Sandwich Spread so make sure you're grabbing Best Foods, Real Mayonnaise.

    Quote Originally Posted by Humbert
    Hellmans and Best Foods
    "Both labels contain the same ingredients in the same 'relative quantity' order: soybean oil, water, whole eggs & egg yolks, vinegar, salt, sugar, lemon juice, calcium, and natural flavors. Best Foods' may contain more lemon juice, though the relative quantities are the same as Hellmann's."
    Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

  24. #24
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    Best foods is close to craft, and has been said, Hellmans is Best Foods east of the Mississippi. Where the hell did it go??? The only I can find now is Best Foods but its imported from the states and 209 a bottle at Villa. Tops, Villa, Foodland, and Carrefour are out.

    I think I will look at the Lotus brand. If its not made here I might give it a try. The stuff made here is too full of sugar and the texture is close to freaking come.

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aging one
    I think I will look at the Lotus brand. If its not made here I might give it a try.
    It is made here, but don't let that deter you. It tastes nothing like the normal Thai mayonnaise.

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