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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Fast food dilemmas: the pizza or kebab quandary

    When the mind wants pizza but the heart craves a kebab.

    This age-old conundrum has been plighting pissheads up and down the British Isles since the introduction of the first kebab house (1966, Stoke Newington, London) and the inaugural pizza parlour venture (about the same time, in the same city).

    The mind plays on erstwhile mozzarella and pepperoni action, while the heart, the heart aches for saturated fat coated in a chilli sauce whose components, one might surmise, were pieced together in Beelzebub's back passage.

    What to do, what to do? It's the defining Friday/Saturday/any fucking day dilemma...

    Well, it was.

    For now, the good people at my local pizzeria have concocted a quite tremendous melange of traditional British fast food.

    Get this:

    A pizza, and a kebab - presented as one glorious wedge of calorific joy, complete with flesh of a dubious origin, jalapenos, red onions, the option of chilli sauce, and tomatoes.

    Abdul has just made himself a mate.

    I'm off to the fridge. Only Stella of the Artois persuasion possesses the refreshing qualities with which to wash this fucker down with.



  2. #2
    Utopian Expat
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    When you've polished that off and your party pack of wife beater you'll be down the kebab shop at 2am for one of these bad boys...



    Some great entertainment can be had in a kebab shop between the hours of 2 and 3am..

  3. #3
    POTUS HOCUS
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    Turdish Pidda or Lavash bread the best of both worlds, despite dining in London New York Gyros the Leb food in Oz is tip top

  4. #4
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    Last time i had a keeebab when pissed, i burnt my knob.

    Aint touched one since.
    Keebabs are a very dangerous substitute for a real girlfriend.

  5. #5
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    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Last time i had a keeebab when pissed, i burnt my knob.

    Aint touched one since.
    Keebabs are a very dangerous substitute for a real girlfriend.
    Knead to cut and baste wether kebab or girl as they rotate on your tool.

    Do you have photgenic evidence for your
    sperm donor kebab squirm it may help you become as pupular as Slap in the Ms TD contest owd, winner gets a green Willy
    May thee secure yer nesh end areet
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
    I got the sack because
    I took a couple of days off.

  6. #6
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44
    Do you have photgenic evidence for you sprem donor kebab
    See above photo of used keeebab.

  7. #7
    splendid and tremendous
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    Withnall, whilst placing your penis in betwixt the sliced pitta, does the chilli sauce not burn the bell-end? Or is this simply the wont of a masochistic food fucker?

    Anyway. Nice looking pizza innit.

  8. #8
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    does the chilli sauce not burn the bell-end?
    Moron.

    Wear a condom.
    One wouldn't want offspring from the liason, would one?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by david44
    Do you have photgenic evidence for you sprem donor kebab
    See above photo of used keeebab.
    B'stard!

    You must have been quick off the mark to fornicate with my kebab whilst my back was turned.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by david44
    Do you have photgenic evidence for you sprem donor kebab
    See above photo of used keeebab.
    B'stard!

    You must have been quick off the mark to fornicate with my kebab whilst my back was turned.
    no forkplay , he's a whippetsnappin'

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by david44
    Do you have photgenic evidence for you sprem donor kebab
    See above photo of used keeebab.
    B'stard!

    You must have been quick off the mark to fornicate with my kebab whilst my back was turned.
    no forkplay , he's a whippetsnappin'
    I will never look another Donna in the same light again

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang
    I will never look another Donna in the same light again
    With a twinkle in the eye.

  13. #13
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    Gluttonous gits....

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Keebabs are a very dangerous substitute for a real girlfriend.
    And there we have it. The exact reason why this board is still going strong. Where else is one going to get information like that?

    Thank you withnallstoke. I can honestly say i did not know that, but i shall definately keep it in mind.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg
    Thank you withnallstoke. I can honestly say i did not know that, but i shall definately keep it in mind.
    You are welcome.

    I'm a fookin mine of information me.

  16. #16
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    Just have a big fuck off line of bugle and problem solved - you won't want either, you'll just want to drink more beer and find some dirtbag to chuck your filthy muck up, if you're even capable of gaining an erection.

  17. #17
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    My local pizzaria is run by a serious and qualified Italian chef. He always rolls his eyes in disgust when I commit the catdinal sin of ordering pizza ragu.
    His Italian restaurant was converted 3 years ago from a failed kebab shop.
    It seems LOS is not yet a fast food fusion destination.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui
    It seems LOS is not yet a fast food fusion destination.
    Somtam and chip butty.

  19. #19
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    My quandary at the moment is whether to have one of my wife's home made beef and onion pies or her Masman Veal with Rhoti bread.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy
    beef and onion pies
    Them bastards can put blisters on the old chap - be carefull.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang
    I will never look another Donna in the same light again

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Keebabs are a very dangerous substitute for a real girlfriend.
    Bullshit, I never read an article about a kebab stabbing or shooting a husband but I know (of) plenty of gals that have done that.

  23. #23
    Member cdnski12's Avatar
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    I was disappointed to only find Chicken Kebabs in Jomtien Beach. YUCK. I want Beef, Pork & Lamb, not Muzzie chicken. I saw a Russian Kebab place in Pattaya. Sign said "REAL" KEBAB. Shudda tried it, but was too busy to stop.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Keebabs are a very dangerous substitute for a real girlfriend.
    Bullshit, I never read an article about a kebab stabbing or shooting a husband but I know (of) plenty of gals that have done that.
    You are consorting with the wrong people willy. Withnail has learned the hard way about safe sex with kebabs.

  25. #25
    Member SandMike's Avatar
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    Cdnski12 ....

    Should you find yourself down that way again, then there is a lamb kebab stand 20m in at the Soi Buakow end of LK Metro ... Left hand side from bukow. A little further down on the right hand side, next to the Cave is an excellent burger stand too ....

    For when the nibbles strike at 2am or so .... and several places thereabouts where one can continue to consume the amber nectar of your choice ... all the way to daylight ...

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