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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Let's talk about crisps...

    ...or more specifically, let's talk about how I've got a choice packet of Guinness-infused rich beef chilli, and you've got a shitty little bag of Lays Lobster Hot Pot... if you're lucky...

    Last edited by somtamslap; 13-11-2014 at 03:55 AM.

  2. #2
    Lord of Swine
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    Yuck it up asshole.
    Lays have a new "Pors piss stained sarong" flavour out now.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    Or we could discuss why there are no new build farang Thai wooden house build projects in Kensington and Chelsea?

    Nah fuckit let's talk aboot Guinness. It's the first food group after all.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
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    Fohk is that a Mac Tard keyboard?

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    If you had Lay's new Hotslut n Yadong infused gekko scratchings you wouldn't be posting here

  6. #6
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Lays have a new "Pors piss stained sarong" flavour out now.
    I'm talking about bog-standard bar snacks here, not fine dining.



    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui
    Or we could discuss why there are no new build farang Thai wooden house build projects in Kensington and Chelsea?
    I think I'd prefer that you give this tin of Heinz beans with garlic and herbs a moment of your time...


  7. #7
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44
    If you had Lay's new Hotslut n Yadong infused gekko scratchings you wouldn't be posting here
    Gekko scratchings hardly constitute sustenance. Massive fuck-off tokay turds on the other hand. Mmmm mmm! Scrumptious.

  8. #8
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Dearest somtamslap.

    I hope you over indulge on fine snacks, then explode - covering half of London in vegetable based oomska.

  9. #9
    Pronce. PH said so AGAIN!
    slackula's Avatar
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    Lays have got a new flavour out (well, new to me), the bag is white, has a picture of a gammon and a little pot of mustard and a union jack on it.

    They don't really taste anything like gammon or mustard but they do taste just like the smoky bacon flavour crisps of my yoof. Brought a tear of nostalgia to my eye.
    bibo ergo sum
    If you hear the thunder be happy - the lightening missed.
    This time.

  10. #10
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    I hope you over indulge on fine snacks, then explode
    Ate all the beans last night, cold, straight out of the tin. This morning I awoke to some rather boisterous botty action. You may have your wish.



    Quote Originally Posted by quimbian corholla
    Lays have got a new flavour out (well, new to me), the bag is white, has a picture of a gammon and a little pot of mustard and a union jack on it.
    I'll see your new flavour of Lays and raise you these; a very small packet of salt and vinegar Hula Hoops...


  11. #11
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ The fat rolls in your wrist appear to have fat rolls.
    And cellulite.

  12. #12
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    The fat rolls in your wrist appear to have fat rolls.
    Terrible, isn't it, and totally surprising considering the amount of wanking I do.

  13. #13
    Pronce. PH said so AGAIN!
    slackula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Ate all the beans last night, cold, straight out of the tin.
    Oh dear, you'll never get anywhere in the world of Sales and Marketing with that sort of heinous honesty.

    Example:
    Wife: Have you eaten?
    Me: Yes.
    Wife: What did you have?
    Me: Fancy baked beans from the can and a glass of gin.
    Wife: Grrrrrrrrr. Eat properly you lazy bastard.

    Correct version:
    Wife: Have you eaten?
    Me: Yes.
    Wife: What did you have?
    Me: I dined upon a rich salad of pale poached beans, tomato, Mediterranean herbs and garlic served al fresco in order to remove any distraction from the pure, natural ingredients lovingly blended after countless hours of research into the most pleasing combination and all served with a light but pungent juniper-infused dressing.
    Wife: *swoon* Clasp me to your manly breast and ravish me now, international man of mystery, bon vivant and raconteur!
    Me: Nah, Luton airport.

    (I think my closing line needs a little polishing)



    The S&V Hula Hoops look good though, no need to fancify them.

  14. #14
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    a very small packet of salt and vinegar Hula Hoops.


    That's a normal bag of hula hoops isn't it slap.

    You big handed bastard.



    Do hula hoops give you a potato ring?

  15. #15
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    The fat rolls in your wrist appear to have fat rolls.
    Terrible, isn't it, and totally surprising considering the amount of wanking I do.

    I expect your right wrist is much more toned and supple.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    I expect your right wrist is much more toned and supple.
    The enthusiastic Withnall will have the most toned wrists I reckon




  17. #17
    Utopian Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Lays have a new "Pors piss stained sarong" flavour out now.
    I'm talking about bog-standard bar snacks here, not fine dining.



    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui
    Or we could discuss why there are no new build farang Thai wooden house build projects in Kensington and Chelsea?
    I think I'd prefer that you give this tin of Heinz beans with garlic and herbs a moment of your time...

    Leave the humble baked bean alone!! None of that garlic and herb malarky..whatever next...

    ^ both blooody awful.

    now give me a packet of.....

    or

    my all time fav


    i once ate a full 48 pack box of prawn cocktail crips

  18. #18
    Veni vidi fugi
    pseudolus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quimbian corholla View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap

    Correct version:
    Wife: Have you eaten?
    Me: Don't know. Have you cooked me my fooking dinner yet?.
    Wife: Umm no because I was busy washing, cleaning and ironing like you told me to.
    Me: Look you dozey moo. I am far too busy masterbating for your stupid questions that you already know the answer to. Here I am, famished, so hungry that I had to resort to eating a tin of beans from the bloomin' can because you can not manage your time well enough to do your chores as well as cook my dinner. Now, here's a fiver, get to the chippy and get me a Saveloy and large chips with a portion of doner on the side, and crack to it.
    Wife: *swoon* Take me now powerful strong leader
    Me: Shut it! Get fooking moving you cutn, I'm on my vinegars already.
    Fixed that for you.

  19. #19
    Veni vidi fugi
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    Funny thing is about these bad boys is that they are extruded, and not baked.

  20. #20
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus
    Funny thing is about these bad boys is that they are extruded
    Pervert.

  21. #21
    Utopian Expat
    Chittychangchang's Avatar
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    So long as your not "extruding" them from a packet of

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    I could eat a pack of these now


  23. #23
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    I could eat a pack of these now
    After your Dutch ruddering session?

  24. #24
    Pronce. PH said so AGAIN!
    slackula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    I could eat a pack of these now
    √ Oven Baked
    √ No Artificial Colours
    √ No Artificial Flavours
    For the love of god, WHY? If it hasn't got enough tasty carcinogens to give Chemical Ali a chubby then it's just not crisps.

    Bloody hippie.

  25. #25
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