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  1. #51
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    News flash:

    Steak, chips and salad isn't an Issan dish, it's what unintegrated farang morons want, and they pay well for it, even if it's shite.

  2. #52
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    Is that a tomato sauce based gravy? The T-bone looks a bit thinnish but whatdya expect?

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Firstly, don't.

    Secondly, if you do, you're an idiot.

    Thirdly, if you do, you're an idiot who will presently be doing one of the following:

    a) scuttling to the nearest washroom facility with a view to swiftly emancipate the recently consumed fare via a trembling anal passarge (Passarge not passage - it's how posh people say it, didn't you know).

    b) gathering the chef's collar in the tight grip of both fists before violently introducing your forehead to the bridge of his nose for having the audacity to present you with such a soulless slab of flesh.

    c) going cross-eyed, mouth dripping with a thick lather of saliva, howling blue-murder into the vacuum of pending insanity. One must factor in the very real possibility that your steak will comprise rabid soi dog remains, testes included.

    Being incredibly stupid, I used to visit my local steak house in Isaan on a fairly regular basis. Regardless of the chef's previous bad form; infractions included misinterpreting 'medium-rare' to mean 'burnt', and the accompanying 'french fly' being issued in single figures - I'd enter the eatery with sanguine paces, certain that today would yield satisfaction come the cessation of the repast. After all, having one's sustenance intake limited to the repellent grain for a month makes a zinger tower burger meal look like a 17 course spread at the Savoy.



    But this steak, this steak signified the end of the sadomasochistic fling I'd been having with this cold-hearted bitch of a restaurant.

    I ordered the fillet. Medium well, please, and garcon, you may bring me a smoked salmon appetizer to be presented at least five minutes before the steak.

    The salad was very tasty indeed; the chef exhibiting the knowledge of his profession by giving it a light dusting of dill.



    Because my starter had been so good, I was quietly optimistic about the steak, and five minutes later it was brought to me by a sassy young waitress, her east Asian bust doing its best to implode.

    On initial inspection the fillet looked innocuous enough, appetizing even.

    However, my first mouthful had the taste and texture of a self-adhesive floor tile. It was literally inedible.

    I beckoned over the server of small-breast fame and informed her of my plight.

    Kortort, she said, looking at my plate with disinterest.

    Kortort? Kortort doesn't negate the fact I've been dished up an 8oz lump of chewing gum for lunch, does it?



    KFC. I cannot extol the virtues of a bargain bucket enough...
    Thirdly on your list of reasons for not getting a steak in Issan should be for fear of loosing a tooth trying to eat it.
    I pulled a tooth out from the roots trying to eat one. Not one in the back, nooooo. In the front. Now, I can't even spit.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by ralphlsasser View Post
    [quote

    Thirdly on your list of reasons for not getting a steak in Issan should be for fear of loosing a tooth trying to eat it.
    I pulled a tooth out from the roots trying to eat one. Not one in the back, nooooo. In the front. Now, I can't even spit.
    Cheer up, Ralphie! You can sthill drool. Its a non contact sport too, oft used by beer drinking layabouts at your local as they ogle the beauties on offer.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by grasshopper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by ralphlsasser View Post
    [quote

    Thirdly on your list of reasons for not getting a steak in Issan should be for fear of loosing a tooth trying to eat it.
    I pulled a tooth out from the roots trying to eat one. Not one in the back, nooooo. In the front. Now, I can't even spit.
    Cheer up, Ralphie! You can sthill drool. Its a non contact sport too, oft used by beer drinking layabouts at your local as they ogle the beauties on offer.
    I know GH. I'm an expert at drooling and I don't even drink. I guess it comes natural for old fogies.

  6. #56
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    [QUOTE=somtamslap;2763381]Another of Isaan's finest slabs of flesh.

    Steak - chewy, garnished with a pint of liquid MSG
    Chips - not enough, cold, frozen, generally lacking on every level
    Vegetables - raw, literally
    Salad - one solitary salad item, sweet salad cream, horrible - not that salad lends itself to steak - so why is there salad on my plate? Fuck off back to jail Somjit, cooking doesn't suit you.

    [URL=http://s1036.photobucket.com/user/somtamslap/media/DSC00354_zps5fcd11ff.jpg.html]

    Nothing wrong with that; I'd be very pleased to have that served up to me in Thailand's outer reaches...
    Cycling should be banned!!!

  7. #57
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    ^

    This pic:


  8. #58
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    But that looks nice...

    Not enough french fries, this often is the case, sometimes it is like.... four, I wonder why. Like it is extinct species. But 2kg is 150b in Tesco.
    Hate sweet salad dressing...

    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo View Post
    ^

    This pic:


  9. #59
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    I look at at the photos in this thread, and am even more than happy now to live in Pattaya. No disrespect meant gents but Jesus Fucking H Christ, there's nothing even resembling steak in those photos....

  10. #60
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    he nemo, in response,

    News flash:

    Steak, chips and salad isn't an Issan dish, it's what unintegrated farang morons want, and they pay well for it, even if it's shite.
    01-05-2014 12:19 AM


    the wifey sells a fair few steak meals , and as far as i know only two farang have ever visited her restaurant, uncle and me .

    it seems the thai's are trying to become more western in their food intake as she has recently included hamburgers and "spagetti" on the menu and they are big sellers .

  11. #61
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    ^ Funniest thing I ever saw regarding Thais eating western food was a few yrs aho on holiday in Phuket at a small cafe there were 2 Thais eating a full english breakfast with spoons and using the same implement to stir and drink their coffee !

  12. #62
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    ^ i saw quite the opposite of that the other day, 2 backpackers eating curry and rice with their fingers

  13. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by steve down under
    2 Thais eating a full english breakfast with spoons and using the same implement to stir and drink their coffee !


    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    2 backpackers eating curry and rice with their fingers

  14. #64
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    How many REAL cows have you seen in Thailand? Never mind the hormones being fed to fatten them up for sale. Many places say they import their meat - yeah right - from ther guy who lives 2 km from the cafe.

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