Slap In Shock Wank Over Isaan Lamb Shank

**somtamslap** · 17-11-2013, 04:54 PM

I walked in to my local foreign eatery with tentative steps. It had been almost a full year since my last visit and due to an exceptionally bad experience involving a plate of raw pasta and the flesh of a domesticated animal, I was somewhat reluctant to grace the establishment with my practiced palate ever again. However, the thought of workaday Thai fodder today sent my stomach into a frenzy of animated convulsions. My jaws needed to engage a piece of meat which hadn't been tampered with by a Lao Khao addled octogenarian with a 5000-year-old wok and an unsightly growth on her forehead.

I needed stodge. And all the noodle soups and pad krapows in the world wouldn't even come close to sating the ferocity of my appetite.

So naturally, after a cursory glance at the menu, I ordered a Caesar Salad to start. You generally can't go wrong with a salad. Salads don't require grilling, or frying, or roasting. You'd actually have to work pretty hard to fuck a salad up.

Some minutes after I'd placed my order it arrived.

"Caesar salad" croaked the comely serving wench.

The name was apt if nothing else. What stood before me looked like a fucking pub brawl in Pompeii.

On to the main course, and I plumped for the lamb. Or to be more precise 'Lamb in herbal'. Although this disconcertingly vague description didn't inspire a great deal of confidence, I was unable to pinpoint anything else on the menu which piqued my interest. So I issued the waitress with instructions and waited with a decided air of pessimism about me.

But my cynicism soon abated when I was presented with what can only be described as an enchanting platter of eclectic edibles.

The lamb fell from the bone with divine tenderness, and the sauce which accompanied it was mottled with rosemary, thyme and coriander. It was indeed, 'herbal'.

However, I did have several major quibbles with the rest of the dish.

1. The Caesar Salad which I'd had for my appetizer had mysteriously reappeared. I'd suggest that the leftovers from my starter had been used as garnish.

2. The chips were so brittle that the merest glance would snap the fuckers in half.

3. As well as chips, there was also a healthy abundance of potatoes woven into the lamb shank sauce ensemble, meaning I'd have double portions of carbohydrates. Did these people not understand the concept of a 'diet'. I was irked to a degree with their irresponsibility.

Nitpicking aside, I'd award this particular dining experience 7.7/10: A very satisfactory repast.

**Mr Lick** · 17-11-2013, 05:10 PM

Tablecloths and padded chairs? Yur right posh in southern Isaan you.

**nigelandjan** · 17-11-2013, 05:11 PM

Did you catch sight of who microwaved that shank in a bag thingy from frozen?

By the amount left on the bone I reckon they had gravy round they're chops.

**withnallstoke** · 17-11-2013, 05:19 PM

As i slowly scrolled down the picture, i thought it was going to be a floral gusset-shot.

Try it. (Very slowly).

**somtamslap** · 17-11-2013, 05:22 PM

Originally Posted by Mr Lick

Tablecloths and padded chairs? Yur right posh in southern Isaan you.

We've even got salt shakers and pepper grinders. Posh or what!

**somtamslap** · 17-11-2013, 05:24 PM

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

As i slowly scrolled down the picture, i thought it was going to be a floral gusset-shot.

It won't work withnall because I took the picture and am very aware it is a poorly present Caesar Salad.

**withnallstoke** · 17-11-2013, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

It won't work withnall because I took the picture and am very aware it is a poorly present Caesar Salad.

You mislead us with the word wank in the thread title.

**somtamslap** · 17-11-2013, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

You mislead us with the word wank in the thread title.

You mean to say you thought I was moved enough by the meal to drop my trousers and unleash hell?

We are more civilised than that here in the northeast, withnall.

**Kurgen** · 17-11-2013, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

3. As well as chips, there was also a healthy abundance of potatoes woven into the lamb shank sauce ensemble, meaning I'd have double portions of carbohydrates. Did these people not understand the concept of a 'diet'. I was irked to a degree with their irresponsibility.

You drink petrol on a daily basis an you're worried about your carbs intake!

**somtamslap** · 17-11-2013, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by Kurgen

You drink petrol on a daily basis an you're worried about your carbs intake!

Meths no longer features. Award winners only with a nip of YD on special occasions. Special occasions like Sunday, for example.

**kingwilly** · 17-11-2013, 07:44 PM

Looked alright to me.

**somtamslap** · 18-11-2013, 08:20 AM

Originally Posted by kingwilly

Looked alright to me.

It was. Kept me going all day.
Even though

**fireysteve** · 18-11-2013, 09:50 AM

Twice served Caesar Salad, its all the rage im told.

**nidhogg** · 18-11-2013, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Nitpicking aside, I'd award this particular dining experience 7.7/10: A very satisfactory repast.

As always in Thailand it is a case of close, but not quite. Lamb shank with chips and salad?

That was crying out for some garlic mashed potatoes and some decent veggie (squash, some white beans). Anything but bloody chips and salad.

Even a bit of white rice might have gone better with that gravy....

**withnallstoke** · 18-11-2013, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by nidhogg

Lamb shank with chips and salad?

Quite right.
On the grounds of never eat enything you might have shagged, should just get rid of the lamb and eat the salad and chips.

**somtamslap** · 18-11-2013, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by nidhogg

Even a bit of white rice might have gone better with that gravy....

Last time, a year or so ago, he dished it up with a side of spaghetti. I was actually relieved when I saw the chips.

Originally Posted by withnallstoke

On the grounds of never eat enything you might have shagged

That cancels out just about every single item of food for you then, withnall.

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