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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    The Khao Mun Gai Matter

    As a novice regarding the nuances of fine dining upon Siamese shores, I would invariably dissect my chosen fare before consuming it, and when one day, during my honeymoon period with the country, I was presented with a plate of khao mun gai, or chicken on oily rice, I was rather pleased to have implanted such a procedure.

    Placed before me by a gentleman whose face looked like it engaged battle with the contents of his wok on a daily basis, were three separate dishes;

    1 x bowl of soup, unceremoniously garnished with a roughly chopped chunk of Chinese winter gourd.

    1 x saucer, containing a zesty medley of ginger, garlic, chilli and soy sauce.

    1 x plate of oil-drenched rice, several slivers of boiled chicken, a smattering of cucumber slices, a few sprigs of coriander, and a blob of matter.

    A conversation regarding the aforementioned matter transpired:

    Slap: Say you! Yes, you with the apron! Did you accidentally shat your spleen out onto my lunch?

    Khao Mun Gai Establishment Operative: Speak English not.

    Slap: You appear to have set my plate off with a fucking Star Wars extra.

    KMGEO: Arai WA?!

    Slap: There's a functioning substance in my fucking food!

    KMGEO: *Starts whimpering before brain implodes*

    Slap: Anyone! Somebody! What is this shite? *Stabs fork into matter before hloding it aloft for the whole eatery to see*

    Random purveyor of restaurant: Sir, what you have there is a hunk of congealed chicken's blood. Don't be scared, it tastes wonderful. Look, watch...*slowly masticates offending fare*

    Slap: Fucking savages! I'm off to McDonald's. At least they disguise the fact they're dishing up tripe.


  2. #2
    Sprayed On Member
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    Yep, khao mun gai does not make it onto my top food list.

  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    ^ It's a starter at best.

    Give this a try if you ever come across it. By far the more superior of the Khao Gai dishes..

    Points for the name:

  4. #4
    Lord of Swine
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    Looks like something Ant would eat, minus the rice.
    I actively dislike it.

  5. #5
    Fuck it
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    I remember the first time my brother came to visit me, at the end of the holiday I asked him what he thought about Thai food.

    "I dont like it, they eat all the bits we chuck away". Summed it up quite well I think.

  6. #6
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    Looks like something Ant would eat, minus the rice.
    There's something very fagwichy about it, isn't there.


    Quote Originally Posted by Satonic
    "I dont like it, they eat all the bits we chuck away"
    Yep - feet, arses, ankles, beaks, necks, blood etc. Even found a head in my soup once.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    Thats Kau Mok Gai Slap, one of my favorites. Cook the rice with the chicken stock and tumeric, then sprinke the fried onions over the top.

  8. #8
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by aging one
    Thats Kau Mok Gai Slap,
    Of course, mate. Only ever found one place serving it around here, but it's regularly visited. Very tasty. Thai Chicken Biriani.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat
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    Yup, was going to say its a Thai Muslim dish.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by aging one View Post
    Yup, was going to say its a Thai Muslim dish.
    Now why did you have to say that - all of the board resident "Fucking Muzzies" lot will now stop eating it convinced that it must therefore have liberal handfuls of excrement and WMDs stirred into it. Bad? Yes, supply and demand might make these cracking little shops shut up shop.

    Slap - Was just this morning chastising the mrs abot eating a slab of blood when she pointed out the black pudding on my plate and asked me what it was

    "Oh well, that's different" I vouch safed.
    Originally Posted by bsnub "No wonder I drive a tesla"

  11. #11
    Sprayed On Member
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    It is different! We fry it like civilised folk, they boil it like jungle tribes people.

  12. #12
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus
    "Oh well, that's different"
    Black pudding belongs. Mm mmmmmmm!


  13. #13
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    ^ I haven't had black pudding since I was a wee lad, slaps - you can work out how long ago that was.

  14. #14
    splendid and tremendous
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    Old Nong went to America with only 70 dollar in her sky rocket.

    Thanks to Khao mun gai she's minted now..


  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by palexxxx
    you can work out how long ago that was.
    At least 2 score and 10..

  16. #16
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    Khao mun gai with a large side dish of moo daeng...... sep sep!

  17. #17
    Pedantic bastard
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    Have to say that Singaporean chicken rice is far, far superior to the Thai effort.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by palexxxx
    you can work out how long ago that was.
    At least 2 score and 10..

    cheeky bugger, what do you mean at least,



    bladdy pommy kunt

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    Kai Mun Gui is good! Just feed those weird squiggly bits to the dog when no one is looking.

    My chicken and rice lady took a two week holiday over Songkran. Thought I'd starve to death. It's my favorite breakfast.



    That black pudding is interesting. I've eaten blood sausage in South America which was loaded with garlic and spices. Excellent stuff grilled. Is black pudding similar?

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
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    ^ Black pudding is exactly the same.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_pudding

  21. #21
    loob lor geezer
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    My first Khao Man Gai was in Pattaya. I spent 5 minutes trying to send back the soup and relish because I hadn't ordered it. No flies on me back then.

    Talking to the girl selling it in pidgen Thai she said she'd only been in town for a week. She found Pattaya very rude and couldn't ever see herself becoming a bar girl.

    A bumped into her a week later dancing naked in an ago go bar opposite baby ago go. No sign of soup but plenty to relish.

  22. #22
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg
    Have to say that Singaporean chicken rice is far, far superior to the Thai effort.
    I ate once in Singapore. Could've gone on a month long lao khao, whore and yabba bender for the price.


    Quote Originally Posted by palexxxx
    cheeky bugger, what do you mean at least,
    Ball park figure isn't it, old chap?

  23. #23
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bangyai
    My first Khao Man Gai was in Pattaya. I spent 5 minutes trying to send back the soup and relish because I hadn't ordered it. No flies on me back then.
    Beautiful!

  24. #24
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    I eat Khao Mun Gai regularly (minus the Thai black pudding) for breakfast.

    It's decent when done well.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by alwarner View Post
    I eat Khao Mun Gai regularly (minus the Thai black pudding) for breakfast.

    It's decent when done well.
    Totaly agree, lovely dish. Khao mok gai's even better. Pisset all the way though.

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