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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    On the Lamb in Issan: Slap Makes Clinical Lunch Option Error

    Since my wife has apparently sworn a solemn oath to never cook me roast meals ever again, I decided that I'd bid farewell to the farmyard for a few hours (roast potatas, see yer laters) whilst I went out in search for something that resembled traditional Sunday fare.

    Yes, I was rather quite taken by the notion of gnawing on the limb of a dead animal today, and have the chef supplement the aforementioned flesh with a barrel of roasted spuds, an assemblage of boiled vegetables, a pyramid of paxo stuff and a basin full of Bisto gravy.

    Mm -mmmmm! Now that would most certainly hit the spot.

    I scrutinized the menu of my local Western eatery, agonising over the choices. I was going to have to part with large amounts of baht should I want to be fully satisfied at the cessation of the repast - and since I'm accustomed to eating random vegetation, taking chunks out of live wildstock and eating eggs straight out of the chicken's arse, I was wary in my approach - fuck me, I could eat for a bastard fortnight for the price of some of this shit.

    I eventually decided on the lamb:

    "Grilled New Zealand lamb with french fries and salad - 365 baht"

    I wasn't hugely keen on the omnipresence of the fucking french fries and salad which would probably come coated with half a bowl demarera, but I had a definite hankering for a bit of lamb (a la withnallstoke) which eventually broke the deal.

    Here it is. Nicely presented..



    I was quick to note the size of the cutlets. One mouth full per piece. They literally took me 10 seconds to eat, but admittedly I was going at it like a fucking caveman..

    On a brighter note, they tasted superb; were beautifully seasoned with thyme, roasted cherry tomatoes, green and red peppers and garlic...



    But I left the venue feeling decidedly 'mai im' and went straight up the 7/11 for a cheese and ham toastie - which is all my budget will now allow for the next five fucking years.
    Last edited by somtamslap; 16-09-2012 at 04:56 PM.

  2. #2
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    At 365baht you was robbed, have you reported this crime to the police yet?

  3. #3
    Mid
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    perhaps some humble pie with her in-doors

  4. #4
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    Doesn't beat your Italian sausage escapade

  5. #5
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    and salad which would probably come coated with half a bowl demarera
    You should visit one of our local gastronomic surprise establishment.
    They offer a choice of salad dressings.
    Firstly the normal yellow salad cream with added white sugar, brown sugar, rock sugar, honey and anything sweet within a 50km range.
    Secondly a salad cream made from Dragon fruit which is illuminous, dayglow bright fucking purple.
    It looks like a pile of snot from a nuclear plant victim.
    Next time you are in Phrae ?

  6. #6
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    At 365baht you was robbed,
    No doubt you'd get it cheaper in the city where there's a bit more demand for them - but I agree, for the size of the portions it was daylight theft, hence the fred title, innit..



    Quote Originally Posted by Mid
    perhaps some humble pie with her in-doors
    If it's over 30 baht I'm afraid I shan't be partaking..

  7. #7
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daft Old Cat
    Doesn't beat your Italian sausage escapade
    Haha! Surprisingly it isn't on the menu anymore!



    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    Secondly a salad cream made from Dragon fruit
    That's an interesting one. A few cold segments of dragon fruit is great in a salad but I've not heard of the luminous dressing - mashed up dragon fruit doesn't sound too pleasant.

  8. #8
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    Macro, nz lamb roasts, 275 a kilo.
    Cheaper than Oz.
    You were mugged son, mugged i tell yah.

  9. #9
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    You were mugged son, mugged i tell yah.
    I like being mugged - it's good for the raging spite lurking deep in the pit of my stomach..

  10. #10
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    Nice as usual SS. It's a bit steep though mate, my local 'western eatery' has lamb for 200 bt had it today for lunch, was a treat. Sauce was a bastardization of gravy and massaman, with potatoes and carrots and a big chunk of lamb on the bone. Will get a pic next time.

  11. #11
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    A few cold segments of dragon fruit is great in a salad but I've not heard of the luminous dressing
    Here is salmon and Dragon Fruit dressing

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat gusG's Avatar
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    I think that they gave you a child's serve by mistake.
    Or did you eat half of it before you took the first picture?

  13. #13
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    ^^That looks disgusting!

  14. #14
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    ^
    Wait till you taste it.
    It's sweet

  15. #15
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    Perhaps you need our cook Agnus Dei

  16. #16
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    Here is salmon and Dragon Fruit dressing
    Is that an authentic pic? And if so did you eat it? And if yes, how was it? I know how it looks but you never know..


    Quote Originally Posted by gusG
    I think that they gave you a child's serve by mistake.
    Or did you eat half of it before you took the first picture?
    No, that was the dish from the outset - poultry serving, and the chips were over cooked. Salad was pretty nice though.

  17. #17
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    Over cooked frozen french fries, thats quite a feat, shall see if I can manage that.

  18. #18
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    Over cooked frozen french fries
    I normally eat them straight out of the bag when I'm pissed so I wasn't too disappointed..

  19. #19
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Is that an authentic pic? And if so did you eat it? And if yes, how was it?
    Pic I took off the net but the colour is real.
    Yes I tried it.
    Dragon fruit has a delicate flavour and when it's drowned in sugar and oil it gets worse

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    but the colour is real.
    At least the projectile puke is authentic

    Touch on the sweet side then. Drowning out any flavour the salmon steak had - these people are fucking weird.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    Dragon fruit has a delicate flavour and when it's drowned in sugar and oil it gets worse
    Quite normal in Thai 'cuisine' to drown delicate flavours in sugar, oil & chili.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    Quite normal in Thai 'cuisine' to drown delicate flavours in sugar, oil & chili.
    ...and salt.

    Next person to add a pinch to my lemon juice gets their head repeatedly rammed into my knee.

  23. #23
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    I thought Samui was expensive for western food but that is a royal rip off. if its that expensive up in the boonies I'm staying put
    I thought the plan was for a roast dinner not some faggot dressing and cheap as you like frozen chips ?

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Big Fella
    but that is a royal rip off
    I think we've established that.




    Quote Originally Posted by The Big Fella
    I thought Samui was expensive
    I used to own a pub/restaurant in Samui and we'd serve a lamb roast for 220 baht. Tasty she were..

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Big Fella
    but that is a royal rip off
    I think we've established that.




    Quote Originally Posted by The Big Fella
    I thought Samui was expensive
    I used to own a pub/restaurant in Samui and we'd serve a lamb roast for 220 baht. Tasty she were..
    There are places here that do a Sunday roast and think they are doing you a favour at 650 Baht a go.
    Luckily I have a very nice full sized convector oven so do my own.
    Treat everyone as a complete and utter idiot and you can only ever be pleasantly surprised !

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