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somtamslap

The mrs must've been bartering with some magic beans on her last trip to the market. As oppose to bringing back a kilo of beef or whatever, I was greeted upon my return from work by this fucker..



I first thought it was a cow, jolly good..fresh milk of a morning..but then I saw that it was boasting a rather impressive set of knackers and a couple of horns coming from its bonce..a BULL, what the fuck is one supposed to do with a bull??

All it does, is eat, shit and piss, all in abundance..



I have a new found respect for dairy farmers..they must have one hell of a job keeping a whole farm-full in fodder, let alone clearing up the shite..one is hard enough, starts giving it large with the mooing if it hasn't got enough grass (pretty scary actually)..

It's about 14 months old....

On a more positive note..I'm quite fond of the smell of cow shit.

Fondles

S Landreth

Make sure he is fed well (or grazes healthy grass) and then take him to the market (when he’s a bit older).

Pity it is just one,.cause you’ll probably grow fond of him and will not want to sell him off.

Oh you might want to have him cut,……….better he’s thinking about grass and not ass.

__________________
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Norton

Indeed. Get rid of the T-shirt ASAP.

mobs00

Introduce the misses to the beauty of veal.

ItsRobsLife

Skinny thing isn't it, might just about have a kilo of meat on it.

somtamslap

Can't kill the poor blighter, it's got a name ffs.Jing Jai ..how long do they live?? Centuries I bet..


Got roast beef sandwiches in that lunch box too..nothing personal, Jing Jai.

Norton

5 or 6 years and he's likely just a memory.

S Landreth

If he grows to a healthy animal (like the one pictured below),….you’re gonna have a problem.

somtamslap

He already breaks out into an alarming gallop..it's a bit worrying.
I forgot about drink..just brought him back from the field and he downed about 15 lites of water in less than a minute..

Pretty good for keeping the grass down though.

So far, Jing Jai's attributes are a good lawn mowing technique and the smell of his cack..the downside is absolutely every other aspect of owning him.
He eats for at least 12 hours a day..I'd say there's a good chance he could turn out like that..just what a needed in my life this..psychopathic cattle.

Norton

Here ya go. Only a few seconds and all sorted. He'll be calm and gentle. Don't wait til he gets too big though. They kinda resent folks doing this.

S Landreth

^save them, they can be eaten (I don't but some people do),.............mountain oysters


A bit? One day the winds gonna be blowing right,…..he is going to get a sniff and just wait,………a horny bull. No 4 strand, 5 strand or 6 strand barbed wire fence will hold him back.

cut em and cut the horns, please,.... if you are going to keep him

somtamslap

^^ I'll get a local round to hack em off..not sure he'll make it look quite as easy as that though. That chap looked like he was working in a gonad removing factory.

Good suggestions chaps, thanks..

somtamslap

Will do..,,I'll organise a 'castrator' asap.

Simon43

What to d with that bull?

How about grabbing his dongle and giving it a good hard chuckwow!! Then you can sell his lovejuices to all the farms with cows... hear it can be a profitable busness...

Simon

jizzybloke

How much was he?

oh gawd i'm sounding all Thai now

somtamslap

Just choked on me beer then, Simon..I'll personally give that option a miss..but if baht is involved I'm sure the locals will be cuing to administer the hand job..although I'm gonna deknackerise the fucker so they won't have much joy..


Free. The mrs took him from a family member who saw dollar signs but forgot about the feeding and clearing up the shit part

zubber

you milk him for his jizz and sell that on to breeders

chassamui

Put a ring through his nose and tether him where you want the grass kept short. They are not lawnmowers like sheep because they graze in a different way. Cattle curl the the tongue around a clump of grass and tear it up. Sheep nibble.
the dung is an excellent natural fertiliser.
If you get bored or pissed you could throw a saddle on it and go for a ride around your ranch. Good luck with it mate.

robuzo

Great thread. He'll get ornery as hell if you don't make a steer out of him.

Thungsongsausage

A jizz farmer.

kingwilly

Ecellent thread, I look forward to new ones with interest, my bull just killed a thai, what should I do?

Nawty

Cut his gonads off and throw them on the bbq...

somtamslap

Anyone know how much the jizz goes for? Just out of interest?

Quite like the sound of that...Jism Farmer!! Got a certain ring to it.

Nawty

Call the sperm bank in Bangkok.....doubt they know the difference here.

Tell the girl that answeres you have several litres a week.

she might go all gah gah and want to help you fill the jug next week.