Thai Divorce law re: Extortion

**drawp** · 13-02-2011, 01:13 AM

Well, I'll make this simple, my marriage has failed due to trust issues. I travel a lot for work, deal with mostly women in my line of work, so the wife and her lovely circle of friends have come to the conclusion that I'm only traveling to visit my many mia noi's luangs, yais, giks, and whatever else may have you. They came to this conclusion for the following reasons:

she is not able to travel with me for work
mysterious voices and apparently spirits on webcam chats when on travels
and finally, a stolen shoe dream (yes, wtf)

Anyways, I had thought that this would be quite a simple task of just going to the amphur and signing a document, however someone has convinced the hag that she should demand money from me before she will sign any document at the amphur. The amount, 500k baht, quite a nice severance package I suppose. Sadly for her, I have recorded her demands on several occasions via text message, video and audio, so evidence shouldn't be a problem (at least in a normal justice system).

Anyways, what are my options here, I'm 25 and want to get this over with as soon as possible so I can continue with the rest of my life, however she is adamant that she will not sign it until she receives the money.

I am an American living in Macau, and I guess the marriage is officially recognized in the US, even though she has no visa, or visited the states. I'd prefer to just get all of this done in Thailand, so again what are my options with the lovely Thai justice system?

Thanks in advance for any responses.

**dirtydog** · 13-02-2011, 01:33 AM

Originally Posted by drawp

I am an American living in Macau, and I guess the marriage is officially recognized in the US

Only if you registered it, if you didn't then it aint.

**drawp** · 13-02-2011, 01:59 AM

Well thats the thing DD, the embassy site only says you do the affidavit for freedom to marry, and they said once its registered at the amphur its recognized in the states which is what I thought was strange because I thought for every other country still requires you to provide the documentation to the embassy itself.

http://bangkok.usembassy.gov/service/marriage.html

**Lorenzo** · 13-02-2011, 02:07 AM

Tell her the marriage is not valid but you will pay her 50,000 baht because you are a nice guy. Then don't contact with her ... she will call you with acceptance at some time.

**Bung** · 13-02-2011, 02:10 AM

Do you want to re marry right away? If not i would leave her, don't give her any money and eventually she will get bored of trying to rip you off and look for greener pastures.

**dirtydog** · 13-02-2011, 02:31 AM

Originally Posted by drawp

once its registered at the amphur its recognized in the states

A legal marriage in Thailand consists of both parties registering their marriage in person with the local Thai Amphur (Civil Registry Office). The United States does recognize the validity of such a marriage.

Nasty buggers.

**Troy** · 13-02-2011, 04:05 AM

Did you pay a dowry when you married? If you did then demand it back for her not trusting you...or sign the divorce paper. On no account give her any money....unless you are in a hurry to remarry...and at 25, I doubt you will be.

**drawp** · 13-02-2011, 04:58 AM

In no hurry to remarry and didn't pay any sinsod, heck, barely even dropped any dosh for the ring, but I just want this done and over with.

**Humbert** · 13-02-2011, 07:18 AM

If its a registered marriage, she is legally entitled to half your current worth according to Thai law if you go before the courts.
Many Thai men actually employ the strategy she is trying to use on you. They demand a payout before they submit to divorce.
I would not rush things. Paying her off is a dumb idea. Maybe you should demand that she pays you off.

**dirtydog** · 13-02-2011, 08:06 AM

^Isn't it current worth on assets etc obtained after the date of marriage?

**taffyapple** · 13-02-2011, 08:14 AM

unless you reg.the marriage at the us.embassy.if you didnt dont give her fuck all,let her chase you,if you havent got a thai marriage cert.with the date and the reg.no dont do fuck all,once you start to give her anything when will it stop,and dont get a lawyer because that will cost you big time.if she finelly sees sence which not many have you can go along to the district office in the province you got married in and do it yourself and her,you will get a paper to the effect give the officer a few hundred baht for his time then wave goodby to the leach.and hope you learn from it.

**Davis Knowlton** · 13-02-2011, 08:19 AM

Drawp: Call the US Embassy. Ask to speak to American Citizen Services. You will initially get a Thai consular assistant on the phone, but often they are much better informed than the American consular officers, who are only there for two years, vice the Thai employees who work there for a living. Explain your situation and ask for their read on it. If you aren't satisfied with the answer, ask to speak with an American officer, which is your right. I doubt very much that your marriage is legal in the US unless you registered it with the Embassy yourself. Don't pay her anything.

**Jesus Jones** · 13-02-2011, 08:34 AM

I was in a very similar position to you with my ex and her friends. Her reason for mistrust, or more to the point her friends, was because as they put it, I'm young looking and handsome and i'll sleep with lots of women. This sent my ex over the edge with all kinds of conspiracies.

Anyway, i would suggest not to divorce her just yet unless you're desperate to remarry, as she will be the one in the not too distant future begging you for a divorce so that she can marry another farang.

**taffyapple** · 13-02-2011, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by Jesus Jones

I was in a very similar position to you with my ex and her friends. Her reason for mistrust, or more to the point her friends, was because as they put it, I'm young looking and handsome and i'll sleep with lots of women. This sent my ex over the edge with all kinds of conspiracies.

Anyway, i would suggest not to divorce her just yet unless you're desperate to remarry, as she will be the one in the not too distant future begging you for a divorce so that she can marry another farang.

my mate done the same thing let her chase you if your not in a huury before long she will find another meal ticket she will soon change her tune.

**drawp** · 13-02-2011, 08:44 AM

Right the whole legality of the marriage in the US is in question, but the consular website doesn't say to register so who knows.

Davis, I will definitely follow your advice and speak with them.

Should it go the route where she is entitled to half, I have nothing in my name, I make a decent amount of dosh but thanks to vacations with her theres really nothing left in the bank account, and since I'm 25 I havent accumulated much yet.

**pickel** · 13-02-2011, 09:14 AM

Thai law is 50/50 in a divorce. That includes debts incurred during the marriage. Tell her she is liable for repaying half the debt. It shuts them up in a hurry. Worked for me.

**Humbert** · 13-02-2011, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by dirtydog

^Isn't it current worth on assets etc obtained after the date of marriage?

Yes, community property and assets in held in common accumulated during the marriage.
I don't understand the interpretations given here regarding the legality of a Thai marriage in the US. If it is a registered marriage it is legal and considered legal in the US according to my understanding of the law.

**Marmite the Dog** · 13-02-2011, 09:17 AM

As everyone has said already "Let her rot for a while. Pay her nothing"

Or you can do a Scampy and do the opposite and screw everything up.

Up to you...

**Davis Knowlton** · 13-02-2011, 09:21 AM

^^^^I've generally found the Amcit folks to be well-informed and helpful, if you are polite and can clearly articulate your situation and question. They might even be able to comment on Thai legal issues, although they may tell you they aren't allowed to. Good luck.

^^Humbert. I don't think you are correct. My understanding is that a foreign marriage is not recognized by the US unless the marriage is registered with the US Embassy. I was married overseas, twice. In the first one, both the marriage (in Bangladesh) and the divorce (in Thailand), were registered with the Embassy. In the second (in the Philippines), the marriage was also registered with the Embassy. My understanding is that if they hadn't been registered, they would have had no legal standing in the US. In the first marriage, in which both my wife and I were US citizens, the marriage, although legal under US law, was not registered in a State, and it is the States which determine alimony, etc. As such, I simply drew up my own settlement, the wife and I split the stuff, and went on our way. When I married a second time, ten years later, the legality of the divorce held up with no problem. And the legality of the divorce held up as well when I retired so that my first wife couldn't touch my pension.

**drawp** · 13-02-2011, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

As everyone has said already "Let her rot for a while. Pay her nothing"

Or you can do a Scampy and do the opposite and screw everything up.

Up to you...

I must read on poor scamps situation, but definitely going the with the let her rot route.

**TizMe** · 13-02-2011, 09:35 AM

How long have you been married and how much has your financial standing changed since then?

Note that if you do leave her to rot and remain married, that by Thai law you would be liable for half of any debts that she runs up and this could come back to haunt you later.

**drawp** · 13-02-2011, 09:42 AM

TizMe, only 4.5 months, financial situation hasn't changed much since then, hardly enough time to accumulate anything, but certainly enough time to blow through what I did have for three vacations to thailand and two to the PI's

**rickschoppers** · 13-02-2011, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by drawp

Right the whole legality of the marriage in the US is in question, but the consular website doesn't say to register so who knows.

Davis, I will definitely follow your advice and speak with them.

Should it go the route where she is entitled to half, I have nothing in my name, I make a decent amount of dosh but thanks to vacations with her theres really nothing left in the bank account, and since I'm 25 I havent accumulated much yet.

Drawp, I do no think contacting anyone is a very good idea at the time. Since I have dealt with the US legal system several times in regards to divorce, I have found it better not to say anything unti you absultely have to. They just wind up using it against you in the end. Let her stew for awhile and as others have said, she will come to you at some point begging for a divorce. I like the idea of asking her for some money. At least all the money you invested in the marriage, even if it is small. Stay on the offensive and by no means talk to any US lawers or contact the US consulate. Just a way for them to start documenting things and it never seems to be in the husbands favor.

**Davis Knowlton** · 13-02-2011, 10:00 AM

^Disagree. The US Embassy doesn't care about your situation one way or another. They are just there to answer questions from US citizens. For what you want to ask, you probably don't even need to use your real name.

**hawaiianbrian** · 13-02-2011, 11:33 AM

Interesting that not one person asked him if there was any way that the marriage could be saved. I guess they all assumed there was never any love involved it was all a matter of lust/money grabbing/whatever! Happy Valentines Day!!!!

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