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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Blind, Retarded Decorators LTD

    ...I had the balls to hire them...

    This happened a while back but I'm still smarting over the whole affair.

    Ok, so 200 baht is a pittance for a days work, but fuck me sideways with a half eaten carrot and call me Wilbur if you most certainly get what you pay for.
    Hey, actually, 200 bt for unskilled labour over here is a fucking good salary and with three of the monkies on the case one would EXPECT that a few brain cells maybe fluttering around in at least one of the craniums present and between them a half satisfactory lick of paint might be applied.

    But NO!....... NO NO NO NO NO *said and written like that lunatic in Sexy Beast*

    Painting a house is obviously the Thai equivalent of Brain Surgery and if my house had been a patient it would be walking about with a trickle of saliva perpetually flowing from the right side of its mute mouth..and saying shit like, "I like the smell of apples and peanuts when the sun is beaming on my bare buttocks"..essentially, properly fucked..

    So, paint bought..8 grands worth..a nice subtle pinky colour..I ain't fucking bent, right, I just like pink...and of course the undercoat..
    Rollers and brushes were also purchased and the combination of the utensils for the job were reluctantly placed in the hands of the apes hired to do the painting..I also bought some filler but I'm not sure they knew what to do with it..

    YOU-RANG-OO-TANG..? ( one corner of my kitchen looks like its been beaten soundly with a 14 pound sledge hammer..AFTER the fucking filler was applied..pics to follow)

    Went out for the day and was rather anxious to get back and inspect the results of the first day's work..as suspected, it looked like they'd stuck a small incendiary device under the paint pots and let the fucker rip..paint everywhere..over the door frames, on the windows, on some of my clothes, on my kid's toys..fucking everywhere..

    "DUST SHEET" I screamed at the cnuts..

    Next day, they applied the colour..fuck me...I think they tried to paint the tiles on the floor from the mess they left..

    Seriously, I think a converation of along these lines took place.

    Somjit 1: Dooo ya fink ee wonts izz floor painted?
    Somjit 2: Dunno, ask the gaffer.
    Somjit 1: Dooo ya fink ee wonts izz floor painted, guv?
    Somjit 3: Course ee does, but we ain't got enough paint, so flick yer rollers about a bit and hope ee don't no iss.
    Somjit 1 + Somjit 2: We'd be lossed wivout ya guv..

    "Don't let them anywhere near me or my house again" I spoke decidedly softly to my wife before swivelling deftly on my heels and making a bee line for 'the shop'..where I proceeded to cnut off Thai people to other Thai people for a good hour or so..

    S'all a hoot....but I'm still scraping door frames and windows to date..

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    I'm dreading having my house repainted. I hate employing them as I know I'm not going to be happy with the end result.

  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman
    I'm dreading having my house repainted. I hate employing them as I know I'm not going to be happy with the end result.
    Seriously, better to take a few weekends and DIY...the whole thing has caussed me much unnecessary confrontation and general shite.

  4. #4
    better looking than Ned
    Rigger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman
    I'm dreading having my house repainted. I hate employing them as I know I'm not going to be happy with the end result.
    I would not get involved with that stuff, tell the wife to arrange it and then go out.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat superman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Seriously, better to take a few weekends and DIY...the whole thing has caussed me much unnecessary confrontation and general shite.
    I fcuking hate painting even though I know I can do a better job than the natives. If I left them to it, and fcuked off to Pattaya for a few days, I know I'd be coming home to a shit job. So I wouldn't have a good time whilst I was away. A no win situ.
    Death is natures way of telling you to slow down.

  6. #6
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superman
    I fcuking hate painting even though I know I can do a better job than the natives.
    I painted the exterior of my house and throughly enjoyed it; along with the dolcit tone of Radio 2 accompanying me, it was done leisurely and to perfection (almost)..wish I'd had the time and patience to do the interior myself..

  7. #7
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    I remember when the ex's Issan family were building my hotel in Phuket. There was a guy atop a roof painting turquoise paint along the ridge tiles - to match the colour of the main roof tiles. He went onto the roof a bit too early when the dew was still about.

    So he slips and is sliding down the roof at high speed, still holding his 1 litre can of turquoise paint. The building is single storey, so the fall will not kill him, but it's gonna hurt him, especially as he will fall into the swimming pool which is still empty...

    As luck would have it, his village mate is standing in the swimming pool, and makes a brave attempt to break the fall of the guy. He achieves this, but cops the 1 litre of paint into his open mouth!!!!

    The result is a quick trip to Thalang Hospital, where he was coughing up turquoise paint for hours. Luckily, I had been a tight-arse and only bought thin Thai paint, so not a life-threatening situation.

    I have a few stories to tell about the building work that these guys did. doing the final, artistic touches was not their forte

    Simon

  8. #8
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    pescator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    ...I had the balls to hire them...

    This happened a while back but I'm still smarting over the whole affair.

    Ok, so 200 baht is a pittance for a days work, but fuck me sideways with a half eaten carrot and call me Wilbur if you most certainly get what you pay for.
    .
    I could introduce you to my happy crew.
    They never make any mistakes.
    On second thought they never make anything.

    Oh, just forget about it.





    This is the trusted crew chief:




    The booking agent.

    Last edited by pescator; 14-02-2011 at 09:36 PM.

  9. #9
    On a walkabout
    Loy Toy's Avatar
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    I enjoy getting down and painting but dislike the cutting in around the doors, windows and electric fixtures which make or break a job.

    Therefore I normally do the cutting in and let the Thai's do the slip slop slap painting.

    Just make sure that you have enough drop sheets as they normally get more paint where it is not needed then on the walls.

  10. #10
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    Just make sure that you have enough drop sheets as they normally get more paint where it is not needed then on the walls.
    Agreed - have you ever tried to remove turquoise paint spots from natural sandwash paths?? Totally fcuking impossible..

    'Welcome to our brand new hotel - yes I know the sandwash paths have turquoise splodges - it is entirely intentional and meant to represent the colours of the beautiful Andaman sea...'

    Simon

  11. #11
    On a walkabout
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    Agreed - have you ever tried to remove turquoise paint spots from natural sandwash paths?? Totally fcuking impossible..
    Try one of those 5hp high pressure water blaster guns mate as they work.

    You may find it may also remove some of the sand-wash so turn down the pressure and adjust the spray jet to suit.

  12. #12
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    Loytoy, yes that would work.

    I solved the problem by paying a Burmese 50 baht to lick each spot with his tongue for 3 days continuously - finally removed the paint damage

    Simon

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Went out for the day
    first mistake what were you thinking they need supervising like a bunch of first graders

  14. #14
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    a nice subtle pinky colour..I ain't fucking bent, right, I just like pink
    That's akin to saying you sit on penises but you're not bent, you just like sitting on penises.

  15. #15
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    Bettyboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobo746 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Went out for the day
    first mistake what were you thinking they need supervising like a bunch of first graders
    Beat me to it,

    but, as Rigger and the others said, I'm not sure I could stand the stress of watching them, might (you know it isn't, but...) be better to let the missus handle everything...

  16. #16
    FarangRed
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    There are good painters you just need to stop being cheap charlies and pay the money, whats the saying paying peanuts?

  17. #17
    Tonguin for a beer
    Bung's Avatar
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    My ex wife decided to "surprise" me once while I was away working and have the house painted.

    Too foking right I was surprised when I got home and saw it!!!

    The old twat used a roller......everywhere.

    Still looks like shit and wanted to get the cops onto him for property damage as he ripped a few people off like that but of course was in another province so, no can do, mai pen rai.
    Fahn Cahn's

  18. #18
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    That's akin to saying you sit on penises but you're not bent, you just like sitting on penises
    No, that's akin to saying I rather a like a delicate off-salmon to bring out the features of the furnishings present.

    Anyway, what's your fucking problem with pink?




    Quote Originally Posted by FarangRed
    paying peanuts?
    paying papayas would see trhe job done cheaper...all about thrift round here, Red..

  19. #19
    FarangRed
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    Many moons ago when I was in the Shopfitting industry I worked with a painter that was colour blind and for a long while nobody knew. we had nearly finished a job and just doing the snagging and the painters had to redo the walls on the stairs.

    He painted it the colours in the wrong place, I was the foreman on the job when I went to check everything FFS whats going on here?

    He told me what he used to do, before he go to a job he would go home and ask his wife which paint was which

  20. #20
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    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
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    I'm happy to do my own painting, luckily, as these pricks can;t help but fuck things up.

  21. #21
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Enjoy painting myself. Near instant gratification seeing improved looks a good paint job can do for a room. Just finished painting bedroom and bathroom a couple of days ago. Missus does the cutting in work and I do the roller bits. She has far more patience and concern about detail. I prefer the quantity over quality part.
    Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

  22. #22
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    Khun Custard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    I had the balls to hire them...
    You got in the Raimonland A team ehh!
    Wait till you move on to electrical wiring and Shanghai render - at least you can repaint !!

    Gosh I thought I was being stingy at 350 per day!!

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rigger View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by superman
    I'm dreading having my house repainted. I hate employing them as I know I'm not going to be happy with the end result.
    I would not get involved with that stuff, tell the wife to arrange it and then go out.

    yep, she found a good crew, recommended by a neighbour

    the boss gave us a price without materials, and it was reasonable

    they did a really good job but I suspect they used a lot less paint than they "bought".....

    still it was the wifes job to check, no problem
    I have reported your post

  24. #24
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    I enjoy painting - not for a job but in my own time, did the house exterior over April/May last year, no it's not a big house I just take my time, fixed shutters, and loose boards etc as I went. And decent preparation and no skimping on paint costs. Should last for years.
    Neighbour directly across the road was perhaps inspired by my efforts and hired a crew who did his entire house in about half a day, two coats (supposedly) for 2500 baht, which included the water-based paint. No cutting in etc they did it all from the ground (it's a 2-storey house) with rollers on very long handles.
    Now after a few months weathering it is patchy - can see the individual roller strokes where one or two coats was applied, suspect that after another year it won't look as if it was painted at all.
    A mistake was doing the stair balustrades, balcony rails etc in high gloss white - gets dirty quickly from the constant local fires.

  25. #25
    Tonguin for a beer
    Bung's Avatar
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    I agree. Anyone can paint, it isn't hard and takes time but a lot of us farangs have that. Stay out of the corner shop drinking every afternoon complaining about your lives and will have a satisfying job done. You just need to move around the house with the shade to avoid the sun. Easy.

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