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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    Simon43's Avatar
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    Build a replica BT red phone box

    Time for the next little construction project. Having been made penniless by the demands of my ex's, I am forced to construct a tiny new abode for myself in the guise of a British Telecom red phone box.




    I intend to sleep vertically in a sling and poo out of the window...

    Seriously (am I ever?), I'm going to build a wooden replica of the famous red telephone booths that used to abound in the UK.

    My telephone box will be installed in the front garden of my little B&B in Phuket. It is purely a marketing gimmick.

    I know from experience that Asians love all things British, (which is why as an educated and refined Englishman, I have reasonable success getting into their knickers).

    Heck, if I dressed up as a British butler and addressed my female, Chinese guests as "M'aam", I would probably be frottered and sexually abused by them on a whim.

    So.... the Asians like famous British 'icons', and what could be more iconic than the red phone box?

    I initially investigated buying an old phone box, but the purchase price (about 1,000 pounds), the weight (more than 750Kg - it's made of cast iron), and the import costs convinced me to quickly reject that idea.

    The solution is to construct a phone box out of cheaper, locally-available materials, such that the outward appearance is enough to 'wow' my guests, who don't actually have a clue about the exact dimensions of the original phone box.

    There is a great site here:

    Making of a red British phone box page 1

    which describes how to build a replica phone box.

    I am going to use materials that are as close to the original dimensions as possible, sourced from my local Thai Watsadu store in north Phuket.

    When you look at the construction of a K2 model (the most iconic design) phone box, the design is fairly simple:

    - There is a rectangular base
    - Each side has equal-size windows in a 3 x 6 layout
    - Above the sides is a 'neck' with the word 'TELEPHONE' in black on white background
    - The domed top is adorned with the BT coat of arms.

    Since this box will sit on the damp ground of my garden, I intend to construct the rectangular base from 'it-daing' bricks, painted in gloss red. I'll get my highly-skilled brother in law to construct this - even he can't go wrong making this section!

    Next, is for me to do is to pop over to Watsadu this morning and see what I can use to construct the sides.

    To be continued after my visit to the shops.
    Groping women when you're old is fine - everyone thinks you're senile

  2. #2
    RUSH HER TODAY
    david44's Avatar
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    Bollox

    Your K@ and I raise you my K9 washing machine



    Be careful your Chinese tourists do not use it as a conevenience

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
    charleyboy's Avatar
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    A real one near where I live in Cha-Am...Want a price?

  4. #4
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    Bettyboo's Avatar
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    I wonder how many Burmese migrant workers (uninsured...) will die in this vanity project...

  5. #5
    Pronce. PH said so AGAIN!
    slackula's Avatar
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    If you are going to have Brit guests you might want to replace the actual telephone bit with a urinal so the wood doesn't rot.

  6. #6
    Newbie
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    A pretty nice one for sale in Chiang Mai....

  • #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by slackula View Post
    If you are going to have Brit guests you might want to replace the actual telephone bit with a urinal so the wood doesn't rot.
    555, indeed.. the art of dialling and having a conversation whilst holding your breath has sadly died away in recent years.

  • #8
    Ho ho ho
    pseudolus's Avatar
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    install a trap door in the phone box, so if any particularly hot chinese tourist gets in, you can flick a swich and she drops straight through the floor to a dungeon. She can wait their whilst you build a hotel for her.

  • #9
    Sukhumvet
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    If you built one of these you would have more interior space


  • #10
    RUSH HER TODAY
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    Ta Dis, but no trad red box would temind folks of UK than that unique aroma , I believe essence of Earl maybe on draft at your local "cockstop"

    Waht is it for Call girls ?


  • #11
    Thailand Expat
    wasabi's Avatar
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    Does your red phone box have free Wifi ?

  • #12
    Utopian Expat
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    Snapped this one at Lomsak in August..


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