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  1. #351
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobo746 View Post
    Hey mate great read you have done well ive been reading from the start dont have much time to get on line keep up the great thread.

    Well thank you bobo .

    I think I want to be really good friends with you because that's a bloody scarey avatar you've got going there !!!!



    Wasp

  2. #352
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    Dear koman ...... when you compare dear Missy's surroundings to the worst suburbs of war-savaged Mogadishu you disappoint me a lot .
    Because you are so seriously understating the crappiness of how they live here.

    80% of it is I think unavoidable because of A} Poverty , B} Habit and C} Cock-fighting .

    But 20% IS avoidable if they could show A} Desire , B} Less use of hammocks and C} Less money on cock-fighting and into a bit of home care .

    Age comes into it too .
    The really oldies do not like change . ANY change... even if the change just involves water , detergent , bleach , crap removal.

    You're right . It's awful . But it is about to change .


    Quote Originally Posted by Roobarb View Post
    I suspect though that your posts are a preamble to a solution that has already been reached. My breath remains bated...
    And Dear Roobarb

    I will indeed look at that stuff about the legals ... as you and BILL are saying .
    And I don't mind being serious about it as I'm always sodding around .

    But Roobs - you show remarkable prescience . "I suspect though that your posts are a preamble to a solution that has already been reached."

    For you are somewhat right .

    I'll Post later after a highly enjoyable trek to Sainsbury's
    .



    Wasp
    Last edited by Wasp; 16-03-2014 at 05:26 PM.

  3. #353
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    All good mate keep up the good work.

  4. #354
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    *
    From the Mail Online today :


    Geraldine Stockford expressed her dismay on Mumsnet after finding her daughter Anna was studying the drama Mogadishu as part of her GCSE course at Teddington School.


    Coincidence ?

    I think not .

  5. #355
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp
    after a highly enjoyable trek to Sainsbury's
    Sainsburys...

    Pork pies
    Crumpets
    Bangers
    Jammy dodgers
    Ginger pop

    Oh to have a supermarket you can actually make a trek to...........

  6. #356
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    Big Fish-2 door = Big fridge-2 door... love it!



    or


  7. #357
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    Well now I'm totally confused Mogadishu, Sainsburys, Samsung two door, Geraldine Stockford, what has all this to do with Frankie being female?

  8. #358
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    Wasp. I like what you've done to Missy's house but with all the money you've spent on it, Missy still has no official access from a road. Wouldn't it have been better, in hindsight, to have used the money to buy a plot of land somewhere nearby that has access to a road and build something on that land?

  9. #359
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    thaicbr : Big Fish-2 door = Big fridge-2 door... love it!




    No No No ! .... the second one doesn't count as a two door just because it has two doors !
    It's this one - which unfortunately is in Johannesburg .

    You have to be able to stand in front of the Big Fish ..... reach forward with both hands ... and open two doors as though you are making a Grand Entrance into the Sainsbury's branch in Mogadishu accompanied by Franky , koman and Geraldine Stockford .

    Isn't that obvious ?

    It's not obvious to BILL.


    Get it right !



    Wasp
    Last edited by Wasp; 17-03-2014 at 04:32 AM.

  10. #360
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    Wasp ..Wouldn't it have been better, in hindsight, to have used the money to buy a plot of land somewhere nearby that has access to a road and build something on that land?


    Well Neverna - you have to remember that we didn't build this house .

    In fact strangely I've only discovered today that this house was somewhere else and Missy had to move the house to her Dad / Granddad's plot some years ago.

    The difficulties with the family have gone on for a long time but you can't strangle a family inside a plot like that .
    The authorities would always concede access .

    And as I say - we didn't build this house .

    My part was in simply giving Missy the Bahts to improve it .
    Replace the roof . Extend the downstairs .

    This has never been koman or Roobarb or many others locating a nice piece of land and building the dream . Which is why it was always called ' Not A House-Building Thread '
    I didn't buy land and build a home .

    So no.

    What you say makes sense but that wasn't the situation that I wandered into . Missy and family didn't want to go anywhere and anyway I wasn't going to finance such a move .In that sense I'm more like Bettyboo in that I was making life better for a Thai family and not a house for me .



    While I am on this theme - it came as a big surprise to me one day when I found that ' moving home ' in Issaan often does in fact meaning moving a home .

    I was asked to go along to some folks who were moving a home and I just didn't expect what it entailed .





    Here you can see how the whole house has been jacked up out of the ground showing about 3 feet of the columns that had sat in the soil .

    They put narrow ' railway lines ' in place which you can see there and trolleys sat on the rails .

    House was lowered onto the trollies .





    This close-up shows the rails and 3 of the jacks used to lift the house clear .
    Those chains lead over to some anchors and then they use a horizontal block and tackle system to drag the house to the Right along the rails to the holes for its new position .





    Guy on the right is tensing up the chains before pulling it maybe 12 metres across the plot .

    I don't have any more pictures of this but it's interesting hey ?
    Moving house in Issaan .




    Wasp
    Last edited by Wasp; 17-03-2014 at 12:40 AM.

  11. #361
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roobarb View Post
    Sainsburys...

    Pork pies
    Crumpets
    Bangers
    Jammy dodgers
    Ginger pop


    Oh to have a supermarket you can actually make a trek to...........
    Yes Roob . But she's Thai . So it's not Crumpets it's chillies - at £35 a kilo instead of £1 in Issaan .
    Lemon Grass at £14 a kilo instead of free . Mangoes £2 each instead of free .

    I need to trade this one in and get a nice English type .

    Then again she's gonna be quite fat isn't she if she's eating Pork Pies , Crumpets , Bangers and Jammy Dodgers .

    Oh the dilemma !


    I been wondering 2 things about you while I was stunned bored in Sainsbury's .

    1) How DO you bate a breath ? I've always wondered .

    and 2) What beer do you drink in Delhi ?

    Just wondering like .



    Wasp
    Last edited by Wasp; 17-03-2014 at 04:23 AM.

  12. #362
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp
    Mangoes £2 each instead of free .
    Ah, yes. On our first few trips back to the UK that was met with indignant howls of 'paang maak' accompanied with visible shudders at the thought of parting with that much coinage for a mango.

    I wonder how much the cost of the ingredients detract from the enjoyment of a nice bowl of somtam? I'll never really know the answer.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp
    I been wondering 2 things about you while I was stunned bored in Sainsbury's .
    Gosh, you must have been very bored indeed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp
    1) How DO you bate a breath ? I've always wondered .
    When I was a small wee thing I always reckoned that it sounded quite similar to the process that Heinz would adopt to produce their beans - i.e. a complete and utter mystery, but the end result was undoubtedly worth having, especially on buttered toast.

    Interestingly though I found out in later life that it had nothing whatsoever to do with baked beans.

    The word has the same root as 'abate' and indeed 'abbatoir'.

    Now, obviously if I'd said that 'I await an update with abbatoir breath' then you might reasonably think me a little, um, peculiar, if not downright sinister.

    I reckon that this is why people now tend to simply bate their breath rather than going the whole slaughterhouse hog as it were.

    As to how one does it. It's a little difficult to describe, but it is a sort of shortened, anticipatory breath thing. If Koman will forgive me for alluding to his gender-challenged kitchen, I'll borrow a clip from another nightmarish Frankie, this time from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, in order to demonstrate:

    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp
    2) What beer do you drink in Delhi ?
    Very kind of you to offer old man, don't mind if I do.

    Tonight I was on Hoegaarden, but for more local fare it's generally a choice of either Kingfisher in its various guises or Tuborg (which I think is a tad better).

    I bet you're glad you only had two questions. Just as well you didn't go to Lidl.


    Now, I have a question for you:

    Your new avatar... bottom left... there's a picture that looks oddly familiar.

    Pray tell what else has hit the front page?

  13. #363
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    Your beer ? ..... I LOVE Hoegaarden . As does Missy .

    One of her favourite afternoons ( especially for an impoverished Isaan lady ) was the day we drove to Belgium to the village of Hoegaarden and sat in the Hoegaarden Brewery drinking fresh Hoegaarden.

    Exquisitely yummy it was too .

    Bated breath and abattoired breath . Odd ideas really but good to see you won't let Franky die.

    And the avatar ..........
    Well I couldn't think of an avatar that I was happy with .

    I liked the one saying " Stand Up Tom Chaney " because I enjoy the movie so much .

    Then I thought I would make a newspaper . THE SOMCHAI THAIMES .
    Clearly we both have too much spare time if I'm making a newspaper and you are looking for photos of Lego villages to put on other Threads .

    But I thought the avatar would show up more betterer than its showing .

    Disappointing.

    But your beady little Roobsy eyes are quite right . You are one of the articles on the page .

    I'll find the original page and put it up here as soon as I'm brave enough.

    Don't you sleep ? It's about 3:00 AM where you are !!!!




    Wasp
    Last edited by Wasp; 17-03-2014 at 04:24 AM.

  14. #364
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    Quote Originally Posted by BKKBILL View Post
    Well now I'm totally confused Mogadishu, Sainsburys, Samsung two door, Geraldine Stockford, what has all this to do with Frankie being female?

    BILL ..... you never seem sure which Thread you're reading !!!!



    W

  15. #365
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp
    One of her favourite afternoons ( especially for an impoverished Isaan lady ) was the day we drove to Belgium to the village of Hoegaarden and sat in the Hoegaarden Brewery drinking fresh Hoegaarden.
    It's a long way to go for a beer Wasp, you must enjoy the stuff...

    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp
    I'll find the original page and put it up here as soon as I'm brave enough.
    Good good.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp
    Don't you sleep ? It's about 3:00 AM where you are !!!!
    Ah. With the missus away you would assume this mouse to be at play.

    Alas no. The kids are both showing their appreciation for the Delhi fare in the time worn fashion - to use a slightly vulgar but remarkably accurate term, they are both 'blowing chunks' in a manner that would make the inhabitants of ancient Pompeii run for cover.

    I'm only burning the midnight oil because of my current, wholly unwanted, role as the lady with the lamp.

    How do mothers do this full time...?

  16. #366
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wasp View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BKKBILL View Post
    Well now I'm totally confused Mogadishu, Sainsburys, Samsung two door, Geraldine Stockford, what has all this to do with Frankie being female?

    BILL ..... you never seem sure which Thread you're reading !!!!



    W
    Wasp, you are absolutely spot on. As said “I'm totally confused” my only excuse would be all the Britishisms and/or possibly Betty's picture of Frankie.

    Being in this confused state did I miss what Missy was asking for with her two door comment?

  17. #367
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    Quote Originally Posted by BKKBILL
    and/or possibly Betty's picture of Frankie.

    Yup, I also reckon Betty's entirely to blame. Wasp didn't reign him in at an early stage and like a village idiot now Betty's run amok, spending much of his time posting pics from other threads and confusing everyone.


    Bettyboo

    May it be a lesson for others...

  18. #368
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    Quote Originally Posted by BKKBILL View Post
    Being in this confused state did I miss what Missy was asking for with her two door comment?

    Are you confused again BILL ?


    She wanted " Big Fish " .

    ' Two Door '





    Fridge .



    Wasp
    Last edited by Wasp; 17-03-2014 at 04:53 PM.

  19. #369
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    LadyabitlessPiggy and the Harridan clan...... ( Family in other words !)


    Let’s move on .

    As I was saying ..... this woman puts bloody cement blocks and rubble into her bonfires .

    Sometimes - when we’re off to the big city - we use moatybikes going in and out ... weaving around the fires or having to drive through them ( when they are burnt out of course ) .
    And we hit the detritus and we puncture tyres .

    It’s clear that LadyPig is one very unhappy soul .
    And she wants to share her unhappiness with the World ..... as so many do .
    That aggressive sour approach works on Yeesipp , on the Indolent Brother - on Missy’s dad .... who would all happily put Lady Pig onto one of her own bonfires.

    But Missy has always had one approach to life .
    A happy approach .
    Always big genuine smiles . Life is just wonderful as far as she is concerned . And she has never stopped being nice to LadyPig .

    Missy makes a real point of stopping , asking how she is , buying her some hot sausages at Big C .... with no motive other than a concern for a lonely , bitter old woman .

    And I’ve tried to be as good .

    I came in on a moatybike wearing flip-flops .
    Why the moatybike was wearing flip-flops is still a mystery to me but as it happens I too was wearing flip-flops and I drove through a dead bonfire .

    Bashed my toes into half a block of cement and it damned well hurt .

    I stopped and knew that I was being watched so made a point of limping around slowly in obvious pain and dusting off the ashes to reveal skinned , bloodied toes .

    Looked up .

    LadyPig is standing there - looking .

    So I “ Sawadee !! Sabayydee Mye ? ” . Smile and hands to nose ( what’s that called ? ). No anger . No shouting at her.

    I’m sure it made her think .



    **********************************


    Wasp
    Last edited by Wasp; 18-03-2014 at 05:32 AM.

  20. #370
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    ....And all of this is leading up to exactly what Roobarb - him with the bated breath - could see was coming .

    From nowhere - from a clear blue sky one afternoon - after years of ( some ) stress for Missy -
    ......... totally unanticipated except by smartypants Roobarb - a resolution !!!

    " So what happened ? " I hear your alcohol-befuddled good selves wondering.

    Well ..... LadyPig is Granddad’s sister .
    So she’s Missy’s Great Aunt but she says she’s Missy’s Grandma .

    Lady P has other Granddaughters too : some of whom are actually her Granddaughters !!!
    And greedy venomous little bitches they are too .-- LadyPiglets .

    In another act of spite against her brother LadyP had signed her land over to a Granddaughter who lives in Bangkok . Just to avoid giving it to this family around her .

    Of course the Bkk granddaughter said a big “ Kobb Koon Karr ! ” ... and she immediately gave the paper to the bank and acquired ( and swiftly spent ) a lump of money . Maybe 300 000.

    But she never again visited or in any way contacted Lady Pee.

    Whose life simply got more lonely .



    And Missy .... whom LP has not treated well at all .... is her only visitor except for an overweight fallang who brought his bloodied toes along with him and helped Missy clear out nests of utter shite under LadyPig’s home .

    Missy - always smiling - bearing hot sausages - bearing Tomm Yamm and Mangosteens and even mangoes ( ! ) .



    .... and papaya and tamarind .

    And kneeling down in front of LadyPig and washing her foot with warm water , antiseptic , clean towel ... a bandage .... when LadyP cut her foot on a hoe .


    LadyPig ................. has been doing some reflecting .


    And she has crept back into the World .

    Nothing dramatic ..... but Granddad’s wife makes rice cakes and dries them in the sunshine .
    LadyP has started very slowly walking the 30 metres and sitting at the very edge of the shade in the company of this Grandma to share a rice cake ..... her brother a few yards further away .

    It’s only 30 metres . But it’s a Thousand miles .

    And Missy has sat outside her house with Iced Jackfruit and waved LadyP over .

    She has come . She has spoken with Missy . She has eaten Padd Pett Gaii with Missy.

    She has spoken with her brother !!!

    The brother is dying . ( Cancer in his mouth ) . The Grandma is fading away ..... effectively blind .
    LadyP can see that curtains are closing and the only person in the whole damned World who will take her to a doctor or bring her food or check that she is even still alive ......




    ................ is Missy .




    Wasp
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    Last edited by Wasp; 18-03-2014 at 05:36 AM.

  21. #371
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    Lady Lamb .. ?


    The consequential transformation has been astonishing . I mean really astonishing .

    She started off by quietly sweeping the bonfires away to the side of the path .



    OK that's not exactly a revolution but it's a start .


    See that scruffy little blue gate on the Right ? That leads to Lady Kinnyoww .

    Missy used to go that way to the big road and the bus stop . Lady Kinnyoww insisted she wanted a wall .
    Her chikkenzz were wandering too far . And Missy had to pay for it .
    But Missy could put a gate in the wall and still cross that way to get to the bus .

    Missy did all of that .

    And Lady Kinnyoww promptly put 20 loads of soil behind the gate so nobody could open it . Hence the high-tec mini ladder there .

    Let's forget her and go back to LadyPIG ............ who has made a start sweeping aside the bonfires - and now is suddenly absolutely demanding that the path should be turned into a proper concrete road with steel rods .........and Missy should not be expected to be walking in mud when it rains !!!

    And it shouldn’t be happening that her old sister-in-law should be struggling to get out to sell her rice cakes !!!!!!!!!!!!


    What's going on ?


    Quick - get in there while you can ...........








    Further ..... LadyP is saying any changes must happen swiftly because all 3 of them could pass away at any time .
    This is exactly as you were saying Roobzee . But it’s quite an amazing change of circumstance.








    There has been soil put on top of all that and it's being allowed to settle . Concrete will follow .

    Much detritus , stones and rubbish around and LadyPee - trying to make amends - asked for soil to cover it all.
    Missy had 6 truckloads delivered and spread out .



    .... and in return LP said to eliminate that bend in the path . Take the path straight through !!
    She promptly burnt out a tree that forced the kink and Missy is getting a path straight through .






    Lady Pee has signed a paper to give access .

    It’s not needed .

    We have access . But it’s certainly a symbol .

    She has visited the Bank and changed the land back to her own name . The paper still sits with the bank and has debt attached . There’s no prospect of LadyP signing it to Missy and we’re not looking for that .

    However there is another sister Lady Soap and we all like her .She lives near Ayuthaya and she’s a little gem .
    She loves Missy and she fancies me ! Clearly eyesight problems run in this family . But it does show good taste .

    There IS a chance that LadyP may let Missy clear the debt - cut a strip of land for a bigger roadway - there ...........



    and then deduct some money from the 300 and pass the paper to Lady Soap .



    And that's the story of a remarkable turn-around ( and incidentally a major uplift in the value of Missy's home .)
    Nothing will happen for a while now but I'm urging Missy to get the road built at least halfway along its length to where that kink used to be .
    I'll post photos when this starts to take place .

    Don't go away from this little episode thinking that LadyPig has become some sort of Angel .

    She hasn't .

    It gives her great pleasure that while she's helping Missy so much she's resolutely pissing off Lady Mango .


    She's not changed THAT much ............ yet .


    Wasp
    Last edited by Wasp; 18-03-2014 at 05:47 AM.

  22. #372
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    Is Lady Kinnyoww a tight-fisted, stingy woman?

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    nice to see things working out with the neighbours Wasp and the Missus still smiling. Your salas nice but seems very farangish.

    I fell in love with these bamboo salas after visiting an eaterie in Ao Nang


    just needs cushions

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    Is Lady Kinnyoww a tight-fisted, stingy woman?
    You didn't miss the clues there Nev !!!


    But ... she got the name because all she can ever say is that you are either a " stupid fallang " or you are " Kinnyoww ."

    Always one or the other and nothing else .

    Lend her money when she asks and you are a " Stupid Fallang "

    Refuse to lend her money - and you are " Kinnyoww ".

    I really can not abide this woman .




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    Last edited by Wasp; 18-03-2014 at 05:49 AM.

  25. #375
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Your salas nice but seems very farangish.
    I fell in love with these bamboo salas after visiting an eaterie in Ao Nang
    Hmmmm .

    I'm suspicious .

    Dillinger

    Speaking with gentle tongue !

    Hmmmmmmm . Like touching a grenade and wondering if its live .

    I've examined every word . There's not that many . Maybe its in anagrams .

    Clever critical anagrams . Or palindromes .

    Well I can't see a fuse so I'll take a chance .


    Yes Dillinger . ( Oh God I've done it now !!! )

    Yes Dillinger I agree .
    I like those straw bamboo salas much more ... until someone pointed out that snakes , spiders and other nasties quite like them too .

    But my favourite bar out there is my favourite precisely because it has those bamboo / thatch sala things .



    Go on then ! Do your worst !! I can take it .




    Wasp
    Last edited by Wasp; 18-03-2014 at 05:56 AM.

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