Thats a Toilet, Not a Throne
Many of us consider our toilet to be our throne, not only is it used for what it was designed for, but we also read books, play on our tablets and do many other things whilst residing on our thrones, but looking at most they really can't be called thrones, the worst example of course being a Thai squat toilet in a hot room under the stairs, that is not a throne, that is an older form of Thai torture.
So lets start from the beginning, the temperature, whilst sitting on your throne you do not want to be sweating, you maybe straining but sweating is for pigs and fat people, us gentlemen perspire, whilst we are doing this grammar lesson I should add women don't sweat either, mayber the odd Aussie one does, but when women get hot they glow, so we need either a fan or air-con access in the bathroom to keep oneself cool whilst forcing the demons out, fan is the easiest pointing straight at the toilet but from a reasonable distance, don't want your wig or hair piece blowing all over the place.
Placement of the toilet is critical, there has to be enough space for you to relax in comfort whilst waiting for nature to take its natural course, for me this area is fine, for my larger friends they would have trouble squeezing in there and wouldn't have such a great experience, but it is my throne and it is for me, so sod them.
https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...r_Toilet_3.JPG
Can you see where it all went wrong :(
Placement of the bum gun, it's behind you, as you get older this will become a major obstacle in your life, ie trying to get hold of the bum gun, the bum gun needs to be placed on the wall near to the hand you use most, can't have the master of the throne having to bend over double and crane his neck around just to find the bum gun, place it properly.
Another thing missing is of course somewhere to place books, magazines or whatever toys they are that you keep in the bathroom, the top of the cistern really doesn't do it, a dedicated cupboard or shelf is the way to go, don't get cheap on this.
https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...r_Toilet_1.JPG
Now this is a fine toilet, maybe change the plastic seat to a wooden one and we are getting closer to that throne experience we are looking for, nice low slung cool looking toilet, obviously you will need to take out any water saving devices, our needs are greater than the rest of the worlds and we don't leave no floaters, throne experience = 1 flush and it's all gone, none of this trying to poke the turds round the bend or multiple flushes, so we need the water, lots of it.
https://teakdoor.com/Gallery/albums/u...r_Toilet_2.JPG
So, enter your suggestions for turning your toilet into a throne, prizes donated by HASIC.
This thread was brought to you by HASIC.
Having A Shit In Comfort.
