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  1. #1
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    Electronic bum washers for new hotel

    It seems that many Japanese and Koreans are too lazy to use a bum spray, but prefer the sophistication of a warm stream of water from one of this gizzmo loo seats.



    I'm sure the sensation must be like pissing on yourself, but in truth I was asked on several occasions by Asian guests who stayed at my previous hotel if there were electronic bum washers in the guest rooms.

    Now, with the new little hotel nearing soft opening, I spotted these toilet seats/bum washers in HomePro, costing around 3,000 baht each. That's not a huge amount to pay to raise the standards of my guest rooms from 3(ish) star to more than 3ish.

    So, my questions to the learned TD folk are:

    - have you ever used an electronic toilet seat/bum wash?
    - Can they be used for sexual gratification? (plus point for my web-site)
    - Are they dangerous?
    - Will my Asian guests be impressed if I dump the bum gun and offer them the pleasure of having their bum (or front bum) gently caressed by warm, pulsating water?

    Seriously - since the number of Asian tourists visiting Phuket is rising, I can maybe improve my hotel rating a little by installing these devices.

    Simon
    Groping women when you're old is fine - everyone thinks you're senile

  2. #2
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    I'm surprised how reasonably priced there are.

    Go for it

  3. #3
    sabaii sabaii
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    - Are they dangerous?
    They will be when fitted by Thais




  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    Can they be used for sexual gratification? (plus point for my web-site)
    Your water/leccy bill will put you out of business.

  5. #5
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    several Thai women I have known have admitted to using the shower spray for sexual purposes so I don't suppose the bum washers will be any different, as long as they have warm water

  6. #6
    sabaii sabaii
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    ^ You got any videos ?

  7. #7
    ENT
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    ^^^^
    Agreed.

  8. #8
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    We stayed at the Le Meridien in KL a few years and one of these was a featurette of the WC
    The wife, always inquisitive, pushed a few buttons (not while seated) and ... dare I say... the all the smoke and whistles and spray went off ... she almost shat herself!!

  9. #9
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    3,000 for all those bells and whistles, does the shit go down as well? Or did you forget your glasses.

    If its for real, is it made here under license or what? Cant be imported.

  10. #10
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    I think I'll have to buy one for extensive testing

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by sabaii sabaii View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    - Are they dangerous?
    They will be when fitted by Thais




  12. #12
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    Just give them a kettle modified for use with the bum gun.

  13. #13
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    I wanted one of them at home but it turned out to be too complicated as Singapore kind of follows the UK's health and safety regs and are of the opinion that water and electricity dont mix, so there is no power supply anywhere near the bathroom in my flat.

    So I have a bum gun and what a beauty it is too. TD old timers will be relieved to hear that my piles are a thing of the past.

  14. #14
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    ... so there is no power supply anywhere near the bathroom in my flat
    Bugger that - my bathrooms have a 3 phase electricity supply within inches of the crapper - might put some power points inside the shower in case guests want to use their electric shaver whilst soaping their pubes...

  15. #15
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43
    my bathrooms have a 3 phase electricity supply within inches of the crapper
    *cancels booking*

  16. #16
    ENT
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    Quote Originally Posted by slimboyfat View Post
    I wanted one of them at home but it turned out to be too complicated as Singapore kind of follows the UK's health and safety regs and are of the opinion that water and electricity dont mix, so there is no power supply anywhere near the bathroom in my flat.

    So I have a bum gun and what a beauty it is too. TD old timers will be relieved to hear that my piles are a thing of the past.
    Good news!

    I never got in the habit of bum paper.
    Invented by the Japs in the 1400s, promoted by Queen Victoria when she adopted John Crapper's new fangled water closet, which in those days emptied out onto the roof rain gutters of Buck house. Thomas Crapper got creds for it, but the "john" and the "crapper" have made both men immortal.

    We've had problems with the stuff (toilet paper) ever since, from piles to plumbing.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by sabaii sabaii
    You got any videos ?
    yes, thanks
    Quote Originally Posted by Khun Custard
    the all the smoke and whistles and spray went off ... she almost shat herself!!
    that is the whole point of going there in the first place

  18. #18
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    Maybe the Japanese and Koreans know about bacteria, the handheld butt washers are nice for your behind, but think of the bacteria that must be on those from splash back. Combine that with Thais being too cheap and lazy to provide hand washing soap, and it's not a pleasant thought.

  19. #19
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    ^
    i think only a man with a death wish would use a bum sprayer in a public karsey.

    as for the fancy shitter in simons guest house, the same reasoning applies.

    who knows what foul encrustments lurk dormant behind the nozzles, brown relics of the fat german drunk or sweaty middle easterner who last used it, ( cant imagine the cleaners gave it any more than a cursory wipe over with the same cloth used to clean under the seat. ) waiting to be sprayed out and up the orifice of the next unsuspecting user. i wouldnt want any of those lethal encrustments sprayed onto me thank you very much.

    the control panel on that thing must also take a lot of punishment too from the misdirected urine streams of your average male. most people dont give a fuck when theyre in a hotel. hey i'm paying for this room, let somebody else deal with the mess.


    when it comes to public toilets, and lets face it, a hotel toilet is a very public toilet, keep it simple. simple to use and simple to clean.

  20. #20
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    Bum washer

    I have a funny story about these. The Canadian comic Howie Mandel told about his first encounter with one of these. He said "I was in Japan and sat on my first one of these. I saw buttons on the side marked 'Front' and 'Rear'. I was curious, and pressed the front one...............Did you ever use one of those speed bags in a gym?"

    Oh, and one more thing. The Thai made version tries to lift your wallet, too.
    Last edited by Notnow; 01-01-2012 at 07:26 PM.

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat terry57's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post





    So, my questions to the learned TD folk are:

    - have you ever used an electronic toilet seat/bum wash?
    - Can they be used for sexual gratification? (plus point for my web-site)
    - Are they dangerous?
    - Will my Asian guests be impressed if I dump the bum gun and offer them the pleasure of having their bum (or front bum) gently caressed by warm, pulsating water?

    Seriously - since the number of Asian tourists visiting Phuket is rising, I can maybe improve my hotel rating a little by installing these devices.

    Simon

    I've just spent 5 nights in a 5 star gaff in Saigon and they had one in the room, my first time experience with one.

    My observations were........

    Nearly burnt my arse on the heated shitter seat.

    It had a front bum and back bum washer. Automatic after pushing the button and no foking around with the bum gun.

    Also had a heated stream of air to dry off your ring gear.

    In conclusion I loved it once I learnt how to drive the fuker and the sensation of warm water on my arse and ball bag simultaneously was quite horn raising and caused me to batt off furiously.

    The warm air also gave me the horn as it rushed around my bottom and tightening sack bag.

    Yep I'm buying one of those fukers.
    Stroller is a Yerman faggot.

  22. #22
    sabaii sabaii
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    Cheers for the review Terry, wish i'd have finished my sandwich before reading that though

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat terry57's Avatar
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    ^

    Your welcome.

  24. #24
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    In conclusion I loved it once I learnt how to drive the fuker and the sensation of warm water on my arse and ball bag simultaneously was quite horn raising and caused me to batt off furiously.
    bit of a delicate question coming up terry, look away now if you think youre not up to it..







    doesnt this just send a filthy stream of clinker choked steaming sludge waterfalling off your knob and sack?

    its not everyone who can pinch their loaves to a nice clean crimp, sometimes it gets a bit messy, depends on what youve been eating etc. sometimes you just cant avoid clag smearage at the point of exit and those jap sprayers will just mess it all up even more.

    i'm a big fan of the hand operated spray guns, you can vary the pressure and direction. but these jap robot cleaners, dont see how they can work properly.

    any thoughts terry?

  25. #25
    or TizYou?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Notnow View Post
    I have a funny story about these. The Canadian comic Howie Mandel told about his first encounter with one of these. He said "I was in Japan and sat on my first one of these. I saw buttons on the side marked 'Front' and 'Rear'. I was curious, and pressed the front one...............Did you ever use one of those speed bags in a gym?"

    Oh, and one more thing. The Thai made version tries to lift your wallet, too.
    He is a bit of a nutter though when it comes to germs.


    Last edited by TizMe; 01-01-2012 at 08:30 PM.

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