stereo surround - a BTS experience

[kingwilly]

a mate of mine writes about BTS train travel....

The other day I boarded a packed train during peak time. Obviously,
there was no empty seat left, so just like with many other passengers,
I had to stood tight and be crammed like a can of sardines. At every
station the train stopped, there were more people boarded the train
than disembarking from it, and the passengers that were already inside
the train were getting more and more pushed inside.

After a few push and shuffles, I found myself standing in the centre
of a circle of four women. They were positioned around my one, three,
five and eight o'clock. They have been conversing among themselves
and somehow the push and shove of passenger movement has drifted me
into the centre of their circle. Due to the cramped condition, we all
were standing quite close to each other. The distance from my head to
any of theirs would not be more than 25 cm. However, they did not
seem to be too concerned as they continued their conversation
unabated, and I could not help but listening to their conversation.
They were talking about masala, discussing the virtues of making it
yourself or buying it ready-made from the store for cooking. If you
do not know what "masala" is, do not worry too much about it, for I am
not writing about masala at all.

As I listened to their conversation, I cannot help but feeling the
imbalance of the four women's voices coming into my ears. As they
were not located symmetrically relative to my position, and compounded
with the rocking motion of the train that made their distances and
locations to me constantly fluctuate and shift, this made their voices
that arrived at my ears felt out of sync. Soon I became less
interested in with whatever topic they were discussing and more in
trying to adjust my head position by moving and turning so I could get
the best surround sound reception from their voices.

This exercise proved to be quite challenging. As I moved my head to
improve the left channel reception, for example, I would lose signal
strength from my front-right. When I turned my neck to compensate, it
would make my rear too loud, and so on. (And I think one of the woman
behind me sometimes covered her mouth while speaking, which really
distort the signals convergence as far as I was concerned) The train
ride was long, which gave me ample time to perpetually adjusting, but
still it was not an easy feat.

At a major station, two of the women alighted, together with quite a
number of passengers. This made the carriage floor a bit roomier and
people started to spread out and move about to re-establish their
personal spaces. At the end of the shuffle, I was positioned facing
the remaining two women, who stood in front of me left and right,
forming a triangle. Our distance to each other was about an arm's
length.

They continued holding their conversation, and I continued to detect
their signals. But this time, the then four-channels surround sound
has been reduced to a mere stereo, and I was experiencing the STD
(Surround to Dual) syndromes common to tragic audiophiles who cannot
meet the required hi-fi (high finance) for their hi-fi (high
fidelity). This includes, but not limited to: frequent checking to
the back for missing rear sounds, frequent repositioning of one's head
between the two speakers in hope to achieve virtual surround sound and
a general increase in angst (and possibly hernia) caused by one's
inability to acquire proper surround sound equipment.

By the time I got off the train, I was seriously considering updating
my sound system with the latest, highest quality and most
technologically advanced hi-fi equipment. I entertained this thought
for a while before resigning to the realisation that I would not have
the required hi-fi for my dream hi-fi. I guess I just have to
continue adjusting my head position to achieve virtual surround, just
like what I am doing right now...

Surroundly Yours,

XZL

[DJ Pat]

Thai women talking about masala? You were on the metro somewhere in India I reckon.

[Marmite the Dog]

Stereo is always better than surround sound for hi-fi~s.

Muted is always better for yapping women.

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

Does your friend work for Pioneer or Sony per chance, willy?? ......seems a little obsessed if you ask me...

[DJ Pat]

^^I reckon his friend is an audiophile

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

^ I think you mean stereophile..

[Skulldigger]

Nice writing. Mildly funny, too.

[kingwilly]

he's bizarre - about once every 2 months he writes up a huge monologue about completly irrelevant things and sends it as a mass email to all his friends.