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  1. #1
    Member burdon's Avatar
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    The night I kicked the shit out of my flat-mate (and business partner).

    I had just turned 23. I was in Nana Plaza (the bar on the third floor with the carasel thing). I was broke because I was waiting for a big cheque to clear in the UK. MY flat mate, who was also my business partner, good friend and my guide to the world of Thai sleaze (before I met him I had been in Pha Ngan for 8 months). I didn't even want to go out that night, I hate my fucking birthdays, but T said he wanted to go out and wanted to take care of the money. We had a good arrangement with dough. When I had it, I lent it to him. When he had it, he lent it to me.

    So there we are, pissed as mother-fuckers watching dumb, ewok looking Issan girls girate (badly) on a mirrored carousel and then try to get drinks off us. Gradually we start to have an argument. Lots of resentment started to come out. I told T that I had done most of the work, it was me who had trecked through Bobae and Jatujat all fucking month. It was my contacts that we were selling shit to. Yet we were splitting everything 50-50.

    This carries on for a couple of hours and gets to the point where we decide to split the business down the middle. I would take the gadget side of things, he would get the Hippy clothing crap. This would be the end of our burgeoning company.

    Then I start talking to some random little Ewok and when I turn around, I am there alone. 20minutes pass until I am certain that T, as he has a tendancy to do, has done one, made like a banana. He had split.

    -------CONTINUED IN PT.II--------------

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    sigh, i think i done read some of these 'stories' on stoickman before.....


    you werent in the SAS/CIA before was ya?

  3. #3
    This is not my avatar
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    ^Shhh.....I'm waiting for part 2, I want to know if he uses taekwondo or fujitsu to beat up the guy twice his size who used to be a professional boxer

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
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    Would'nt this yarn be better suited for the lounge?

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    ^wouldn't all the OP's posts be better suited for, at best, the lounge (Moronic Kiddies would be my first choice, but the OP is a newbie, so I guess we have to be pleasant).

  6. #6
    I am in Jail
    stroller's Avatar
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    Is there no mod around to have a look?

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat

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    Why would you come onto here and tell some crappy story like that then?

    Load of arse.

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat
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    ^yes, and, somewhat unfortunately MrsQ, this is one of the OP's better posts

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat

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    I say drown him. If he is a witch he will survive if he isn't then we shall know the truth.

    To the dunking chair.

  10. #10
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    beating the shit out of someone threads dont go down too well here. unless the other fella had been screwing your wife and you battered his head with a car door.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat

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    We haven't had a good lynching since either Smeg came on and survived (thankfully I like the chap) or the Captain Sensible and Ice Maidens norks incident.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsquirrel View Post
    We haven't had a good lynching since either Smeg came on and survived (thankfully I like the chap) or the Captain Sensible and Ice Maidens norks incident.
    sigh, weren't they the memorable days!

  13. #13
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    I loved CS logic. IM had sent him picks of her norks. Yet the other poster who had sent her picks of his nob was a pedo.

    I had a great time digging up Australian laws on showing of norks to people. He was a silly old fool and the **** deleted the thread before it could be archived forever. Unless DD has a secret copy for an anniversary special.

    Although I did cut and past it to Lily maybe she still has it.

  14. #14
    Member The_Dude's Avatar
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    This post should be on Dear Abby or Forum magazine.

  15. #15
    RIP
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    Quote Originally Posted by slimboyfat
    beating the shit out of someone threads dont go down too well here. unless the other fella had been screwing your wife and you battered his head with a car door.
    wish you'd told me that before I posted on his other moronic thread...

  16. #16
    Member burdon's Avatar
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    I resent ANY association with Stickman or any other website. I am me. I am 26, not 56.

    I am no martial arts expert, neither is/was my flatmate. We were both young English guys with a penchant for booze, a taste for valium and a liking of women.

    I would never beat anyone up over a woman. They mean nothing to me.

  17. #17
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burdon
    a liking of women
    Quote Originally Posted by burdon
    They mean nothing to me
    I think you like yourself

  18. #18
    Member burdon's Avatar
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    Oh I do like myself. Truly I do.

    And I do like women, but they mean nothing to me. Kind of like how I enjoy reading a good book or eating a nice meal. I enjoy it, but if it wasn't there, I would survive.

  19. #19
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    Are we going to get the rest of the story?

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat Jarvis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by burdon
    I'm a fukin idiot
    Agreed

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by burdon View Post
    Oh I do like myself. Truly I do.
    .
    yes, it sounds as if you are a nice Narcissus

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarvis View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by burdon
    I'm a fukin idiot
    Agreed

    greens on yer way matey!

  23. #23
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    Most of this dialogue is basic high school locker room shit! Who started this crap?

  24. #24
    Member burdon's Avatar
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    The night I kicked the shit out of my flat-mate (and business partner). PT.II

    When we left the story, our protaganist (me) was sat in The Carousel Bar, on the third floor of perennial favourite Nana Plaza, a sprawling mass of prostiution nestled in the bosum of Bangkok. It was my birthday. I had just become aware that I was alone. My flat-mate, business partner and freind T had ditched me it seemed.

    I took a quick sideways glance at the bill, which, as per usual was made up of a stack of little white chits that mostly said 2x Singha, with the odd vodka and coke that we had bought for one of the girating ewoks. It looked pretty damn big to me, but I could not make it too obvious that I was trying to work out how much money I owed. I deduced that the tab would be somewhere in the region 0f 4-5,000bht. And how much did I have on me? You guessed it folks. Nothing. Nada. Nafink. Ain Lee Kesef. Fuck All. I was screwed. I didn't even have my wallet on me.

    So I did what anyone would do in my situation. I lit a Malboro, ordered a beer and began to panic. Should I say something? They kind of knew my face in there. Should I just run? Should I plead with a farang for money and tell him the true story?

    I made up my mind. It took two more beers, lots of cigarettes and two pisses, but eventually I had it. Taking my fate into my own hands, I nonchalantly (so it seemed to me anyway) got up and walked out of the bar. I could see the light. I was free.I had done this shit!

    But suddenly I felt a hand on my left shoulder. A female voice saying, "Hey mister, hey mister". I tried not to turn, to simply pretend I had not heard or felt anything. I contiuned to make for th exit. "Where you go mister. You have bill. You pay bill. Mister!"

    The game, as they say, was up. I turned and attempted to tell her the truth.

    "You know me," I said, " I have been in here loads. My friend T, the blonde guy, just disapperared and he knew I had no money. I promise that I will come back tommorow and pay you."

    As you can probably predict, little Moo (or Lek, or Tan or whatever her name was) was not having any of it. She attempted to kind of grab me and I swept her hand away. By this time we were stood directly outside the bar.

    Suddenly, from nowhere, a felt a sudden thud on my cheek. Some fucker had punched me. I looked around and saw a big Ginger biker type fellow complete with Denim jacket and bandana. He was glaring at me.

    "Don't touch my girlfriend again or I'll fucking kill you", he drawled in an America accent.

    I replied in my usual style. I was drunk I remind you. Very drunk, " You hit like a pussy man."

    I don't quite remember what happened after that, but I do know that he, along with 2-3 Thai bouncer types proceeded to give me a good kicking. Now I am not a tough guy, but I have had experience of fighting and if there is one thing I know, it is how to take a beating.

    I rolled into a ball and protected my head as they kicked me around for a few minutes. I was okay though. Nowt' serious. Just one tooth knocked out and a shiner. By this time I had been escorted out of Nanas and booted onto the street, broke, bloody and drunk.

    ----------------------CONTINUED IN PART. III ---------------------------

  25. #25
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Quote Originally Posted by burdon
    if there is one thing I know, it is how to take a beating.
    That's probably going to come in handy here.

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