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  1. #1
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    Bettyboo's Avatar
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    Learning to Read Music?

    As you may well be aware, I am talentless.

    I've time on my hands, so I've decided to learn something. Good ideas could be: the local language, the local culture, the local customs, etc, but I'm not interested in any of that shite... Johovah!!!

    I like music, neigh, I love music. But, I'm talentless... Bought a couple of guitars once (one left handed and one right handed) but neither of them worked, and they made my fingers hurt whilst making extremely buzzy and unpleasant noises. Thus, I'm thinking I could do more of a Howard Jones (or early Depeche Mode) on the laptop (must be able to get some software that'll help me to kick out a few number 1 hits).

    Firstly, I'd like to try and learn to read/write music; as in: sheet music.

    Any suggestions? Easier the better... Quick would be good too because I'm wanting the groupies...

    How do I post these pictures???

  2. #2
    On a walkabout
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    I learned how to read percussion music when I was a kid and from memory it was pretty difficult I'll give you the drum.

    Why don't you collect stamps or glass bottles or human bodily parts like normal people do?

  3. #3
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    ^ ...

    I want to be an artist! Even though at no stage in my life have I shown any indication of leanings towards the arts; I live in hope (die in frustration...).

    I want money, fame, and sex with beautiful women (without penises, for free...).

    How hard can it be, LT??? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, hi, low, that's about it.

  4. #4
    On a walkabout
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    How hard can it be, LT???
    Plastic buckets are a pussy magnet..........Drug testing piss pots also brings attention but not of the affectionate type.

    Why not try body-building or having a penile implant.

    Woman sometimes like that type of male body art.

  5. #5
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    ^are you suggesting I have a small wiener???

    I'm talking art, LT! I know you Aussies folks are a bit limited in the arts and culture department, but comeon man. Art is a wonderful thing. Plus, I want fame and fortune. Or, just wanna see if I can write a tune or 2, should be fun.

  6. #6
    On a walkabout
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    Nigel started a brilliant art thread but apart from socal sending him suggestive text messages I don't think his special talent is going to have the ladies crawl all over him.

    Why not take up pottery.

    It worked for Patrick Swayze.


  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
    aging one's Avatar
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  8. #8
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    I'm not getting the support I was expecting... None of you will be getting free tickets to my shows...

  9. #9
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy
    Why not take up pottery. It worked for Patrick Swayze.
    Didn't work for me.

    The sliphouse slags wouldn't even put out.


  10. #10
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    Hmmm....

    Anybody tried any of these sites? Any success?

    Home

    Introduction to Reading Music

    Learn To Read Music

  11. #11
    Pronce. PH said so AGAIN!
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    Reading music is not that hard, it is writing it that is the killer!

    If you want to do stuff on a computer only without connecting an instrument then look at the PC equivalents of an Apple program called GarageBand (unless you have a Mac of course).

    Similar program to Garage Band on Windows? : WeAreTheMusicMakers

    What Is a Program That Is like Garageband but for Windows and Free - Ask.com

  12. #12
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    ^I like the look of that, thanks QC.

    Here we go, back to the 80s...


  13. #13
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    You don't need to read music to play it Betty, just look at Stevie wonder

    Make yourself a Kazzo, like this.....



    Then just pretend your blowing Achmeds nob

  14. #14
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    ^you can't be in my band!

    Just downloaded Reaper - what do I do now???

    I've also signed up to a songwriting course on Coursea, starts today. Should be a millionaire by the end of the week; can get outta this place...


  15. #15
    Pronce. PH said so AGAIN!
    slackula's Avatar
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    ^ TD's very own Justin Bieber!

  16. #16
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    I've got certificates somewhere from when I took my music theory exams. I did have some excellent books to learn from although I have yet to encounter any music theory groupies.

    Percussion is easy, you just shake and bang stuff.

    The piano is pretty easy since all of the keys are set out.

    Stay away from the violin, you need to start learning it in the womb.

    You can have real fun with a trombone; it is reckoned to be the devil's instrument.
    I see fish. They are everywhere. They don't know they are fish.

  17. #17
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    ^it's only a matter of time; get those certificates out...

    Quote Originally Posted by quimbian corholla
    ^ TD's very own Justin Bieber!
    That's a horrible horrible thing to say...



    Well, not that horrible, but she is far too young for me; they all are...



    They all look about 13...

  18. #18
    Cacoethes scribendi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    Just downloaded Reaper - what do I do now???
    If you really can't play a note, there is no point in getting an interface, or a keyboard to go with it! What you can do, however, is to Google or search for 'free wav files'. Download as many as you need and save them to a dedicated folder. They can consist of loops, single hits and/or strange noises that you can drop into your music tracks and create songs from nothing. A bit like painting by numbers, but you have to write your own numbers. You will need some sort of keyboard eventually, if you want to make use of Reapers onboard sounds. I suggest reading the manual and Googling the words you don't understand. Failing that, there any many good books on music production or bits and pieces for free on the net.

  19. #19
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    ^that's a plan, thanks. Then, once I've created some sounds I can bring them in and mix it up. I'm thinking:


  20. #20
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    No good asking me mate. I struggled with the instructions on top of my cornflake packet.

    Until I realised is exactly the same as the instructions on a pussy.

    Slide finger under flap to open - To keep fresh, fold down inner bag after use.

  21. #21
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    Have you tried MuseScore | Free music composition and notation software ?

    It is nice (and free) software that allows you to write a score, add lyrics and listen to your efforts as you write. It is also a very good hands-on way to learn to read and write music.

    There are plenty of sites offering sheet music with free downloads so you can start with something you know and tweak it as you like or you can try something from scratch. The results will depend on your sound card but most are pretty good nowadays and perfection is not required until you've mastered the basics and beyond...

  22. #22
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    ^thanks, Troy - I'll download and try it.

  23. #23
    loob lor geezer
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    Reading music is one thing.....I can do it. Sight reading ( ie being able to read it and play it at the same time ) is a whole new ball game on another level altogether. Goooooooooooooooood luck .....you'll need it.

  24. #24
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    On U-Tube there must be a thousand vidios on how to read music, how to play guitar, and piano. No need to pay for lessons or such in the begining. Also google has a lot of information on learning to read music. Guitar is not too hard. The first month or two your fingers will be sore. Practice 10 minutes at a time many times a day until the soreness goes away. Learn how to strum and play chords. Then sing with your playing. When you sing an old song, try to change the words and even modify the chords or change chords. Soon you will be playing your own thing. Have fun - it works.

  25. #25
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bettyboo
    Just downloaded Reaper - what do I do now???
    Watch your Erasure & Pet Shop Boys video collections while having a wank for inspiration?

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