Scampy's Pasta Toss Deluxe

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 30-10-2008, 12:09 PM

Back in the UK in my student days, the simple version of this would be simply pasta tuna and mayonnaise with corn niblets, maybe watercress or baby spinach if I was feeling extravagant.

The dish has evolved quite a bit since 1992, and for the 2008 Thai version you will need...

PASTA SHELLS OR TRICOLOR TWIRLS
VEGETARIAN SAUSAGES
DECENT MAYONNAISE
TUNA IN OIL
TINNED SWEETCORN
SPRING ONIONS
CHEDDAR CHEESE
1 BIG FAT RED CHILLI

Also...

Corriander
Colmans mustard
Half a lime
Salt
Pepper

Firstly, take the tofu sausages and throw them out of your apartment window as hard and as far as you can. Don't ever buy them again, they are shit - tofu is shit.

Then, in a pot or saucepan, lob in the pasta and if you want you can drain the oild from the tuna into it which is supposed to stop the pasta sticking but it doesn't - I don't know why, you'll have to ask Timba. Anyway, it's not going to do any harm put it that way. Boil your kettle and pour over boiling water and add salt.

While the pasta is boiling, chop up the spring onions and the chilli but whatever you do - DO NOT RUB YOUR EYES AFTER CHOPPING THE CHILLI. Chop up the spring onions also, and if you can stomach it a little bit of corriander. If you don't have any corriander just pour some Aramis or Channel No.5 into the pasta water and you won't know the difference.

Can I just stress again: Do NOT under ANY circumstances, touch or rub your eyes after chopping the chilli, I did and I can tell you now it sure ain't funny.

Okay, so the pasts is boiled - drain it into a colander, give it a shake and put back in the pot. Grate some cheddar on it while it's still hot, then put in the tuna drain the tinned sweetcorn and add that too, then add a spoonful of mayo, one of mustard, the chopped spring onions, chilli and corry and some black pepper and toss it all together with a fork and a spoon.

Serve and put a little more cheese on top, eat and enjoy.

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 30-10-2008, 12:10 PM

Oh - and add a little squeeze of lime.

**ChiangMai noon** · 30-10-2008, 12:15 PM

I used to make this when I was 4.... i actually prefer salad cream to mayo with a tuna pasta salad, don't know why as i prefer mayo with everything else.

I also like to chuck in a tin of processed marrow fat peas.

**melvbot** · 30-10-2008, 12:56 PM

I'd chuck it in the bin, I dont like cheese,mayo,salad cream or tuna. Yes tofu is shit too.

**ChiangMai noon** · 30-10-2008, 01:01 PM

^
heathen.

**melvbot** · 30-10-2008, 01:06 PM

I dont like stuff made from fat. Cheese is made from fat, mayo is from oil and dont get me started on Tuna.
Well apart from sausages I guess.

**ChiangMai noon** · 30-10-2008, 01:09 PM

Ive been on the Atkins diet for years, I only eat stuff made from fat.

**Topper** · 30-10-2008, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

Firstly, take the tofu sausages and throw them out of your apartment window as hard and as far as you can. Don't ever buy them again, they are shit - tofu is shit.

Agreed...gave me a good laugh after reading the ingredients!

I do it with mayo, however, substitute a 1/4" cup of vinegar if you don't like the mayo.

**kingwilly** · 30-10-2008, 01:20 PM

fuck scampy you should write a reciepe book, you'd make millions, well probably more than that aussie bloke in jail for lese majeste who only sold 7 books.... ok maybe not.

**DrB0b** · 30-10-2008, 01:24 PM

Pasta salad is poove's food.

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 30-10-2008, 01:28 PM

^ It's not salad, you can't call spring onion bits a salad - it's a pasta toss.

You're renowned for being a tosser, you should try it.

**DrB0b** · 30-10-2008, 01:37 PM

^I don't eat food that's specially designed for felching.

**English Noodles** · 30-10-2008, 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

i actually prefer salad cream to mayo with a tuna pasta salad

Same Same Me.

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 30-10-2008, 05:24 PM

You can keep your salad cream, I haven't tried it since school unless by accident here. Thai's love it because it's synthetic, bad for you and sweeter than Fanta.

**November Rain** · 30-10-2008, 09:24 PM

EEEuurrrgggh! Sorry Scampy, but that sounds vile.

How about:

Cooked pasta (reserved)
Fry onion & garlic. Add chopped bell pepper, & chopped bacon. Then sweetcorn & chopped spring onion. Add tomato sauce (homemade is best, but tinned/jarred will do), add pasta. Toss.

Much nicer.

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 31-10-2008, 08:58 AM

Sounds good - how do you make ketchup?

**kingwilly** · 31-10-2008, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by November Rain

EEEuurrrgggh! Sorry Scampy, but that sounds vile.

I agree, I reckon he's just taking the piss.

Surely, surely, nobody would eat that tripe...

**ChiangMai noon** · 31-10-2008, 09:36 AM

^
what, tuna, mayo and pasta with corn?

it's always been one of my favourites and only takes about 10 minutes.

**Agent_Smith** · 31-10-2008, 11:18 AM

A favorite indulgence of mine:

Add about 8 oz. of frozen broccoli before it sets to boil for added nutrition and taste.

Man, I'm getting hungry...

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 31-10-2008, 04:49 PM

Who said you could post pictures on my thread?

**spiff** · 31-10-2008, 05:51 PM

What do you suggest as an alternative to the tofu-sausages if one does not live in an apartment?

Our kitchen is on the ground floor and does not have a window.

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 31-10-2008, 06:39 PM

^ Well in your case, stick them up your arse.

**November Rain** · 31-10-2008, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

Sounds good - how do you make ketchup?

Not ketchup - tomato sauce as in pasta. Tomatoes (I use tinned & chop them), puree/paste, herbs (basil, parsley & oregano are good), garlic, salt, ground black pepper & a teaspoon of sugar.

**Agent_Smith** · 03-11-2008, 12:51 PM

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