blackgang

“The only difference I’ve found in Congress between the Republican and Democratic leadership is that one of them is skinning us from the toes up and the other from the ears down.” — Huey Long

So, Everybody knows I hate sitting here all day with nothing to do except weed the garden and e-mail jokes. Yeah, RIGHT!!

Have a good laugh, and if you can't decide on election day WRITE ME In.


I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE

HERE IS MY PLATFORM:



(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the
official language. Speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to
straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We
will use the 'Wal-Mart' policy: 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax
on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of
our many observation towers on the southern border. (Six
month tour.) They will be under strict orders not to fire on
SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If
you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't getting' nuttin' out. Neither the
president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare -Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of
the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of
urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check
positive you will be banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method: The first time you
steal, you lose your right hand. There will be no more life
sentences -- if you are convicted of a Capitol Offense, you will
be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim,
gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed - Wheat -- The world needs to eat.
A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately
cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and
ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll
ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund,
and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school
and every day in Congress -- right after a prayer to God.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate
ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes, but a vote for me will get you
better than what you have and better than what you're gonna' get.

Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name
on the ballot in November

__________________

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Political Correctness: A doctrine, fosteredby a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media,
which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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