FILM HAS A FEW WORDS ABOUT OUR PRESIDENT

May 13, 2008 -- YOU'VE maybe heard about "
W.,"
Oliver Stone's tough feature film about Bush. Stone calls him "horrible . . . worst in history."
Josh Brolin plays W.;
Elizabeth Banks,
Laura;
James Cromwell, papa
Bush;
Ellen Burstyn, mama
Barbara;
Thandie Newton,
Condoleezza. First-ever movie about a sitting president, shooting in Shreveport, La., is so hush-hush secret that all scripts are embargoed. Watermarked so that each is traceable.
So do not ask - do
not - how one is now in my own sticky fingers. Do not ask. If I answered, which I won't, I'd have to lie. A supposed chronicle of his presidency, every scene or shard of dialogue is theoretically - if not proven fact - within the realm of repeated rumor. No imaginary scenes off the deep end. Stone's trying for legitimacy so he won't get pilloried. Or audited.
Here's
Karl Rove making W. memorize answers, telling him, "Before you speak, come to me first. I'll tell you what to say." W. chiding late-arriving "Balloonfoot"
Powell, saying military men should know about being on time.
Rumsfeld, who's hard of hearing. W. happy when
Cheney laughs at his cowboy-delivered twang. Cheney stepping in cow poop at Crawford. W. eating his favorite White House bologna sandwich lunch.
In all presidential erudition, telling Gen.
Tommy Franks to be sure what he's doing: "I don't want to fire no $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the a - -." Then: "Americans don't like to see dead boys on their television sets." Telling education reformers: "Rarely is the question asked, 'Is our children learning?' "
Page 10 on
Bill Clinton: "My mother waddles faster than that larda - -." Page 11: "We'll move these terr'ists to Guantanemera." Cheney: "Guantanamo." Bush: "Right." Then Bush to Cheney: "Vice, when we're in meetings I want you to keep a lid on it. Keep your ego in check. Remember, I'm the president."
Flashbacks have college-boy W. boozing, slacking off from work, in jail, calling his then-congressman father "Poppy." Sr. praising
Jeb, castigating Jr., asking if he's "knocked up" a girl named
Susie, complaining, "You never kept your word once . . . you're only good for partying, chasing tail, driving drunk . . . You deeply disappoint me." Repeat father and son arguments. Father: "I've had enough of your crap." Son: "I've had enough of you for a lifetime." Mama Barbara breaking up the near fisticuffs with announcing Jr. just made Harvard and Sr. responding, "But who do you think pulled the strings?"