Food Poisoning Anecdotes

**The Gentleman Scamp** · 01-06-2008, 01:08 AM

Mine is not that impressive, but yesterday morning I had my usual pad kapow moo with fried egg and later in the evening I purchased a can of Leo and went to my room to drink it, lighting a cigarette as I did so.

Shortly after one swig and one drag, my mouth started producing saliva - which as we all know folks is our body's way of telling us we have 5 seconds to get our head over the toilet bowl.

The thing with food poisoning though is that once you are kneeling and vomiting, your arsehole wants a piece of the action, and for about ten minutes I was manically changing position from kneeling to sitting.

For much of the past 24 hrs I have felt like there has been a knife twisting in my gut every so often, and the tiniest fart has resulted in three changes of underwear.

The pork and rice man will wonder why I don't want to see him anymore, in fact I am paranoid to eat anything other than chocolate and bread.

Still, it could be worse - some people end up on a drip or even in a coffin after food poisoning, but there's little one can do to avoid it.

**Happyman** · 01-06-2008, 01:37 AM

Its not funny

Maybe this will help - and I am serious about this !

Field emergency cure for the violent Sh*ts and projectile vomiting !!! Can be used at home as well

May be worth remembering

After 30 odd years working in places where the above was a regular thing here is a temporary remedy ( used it to good effect when I was working in refugee camps and disaster areas)
All ingredients you have probably got in your kitchen.

Plain boiled rice
Plain yoguhrt
Pepsi or Coke slightly warmed so it goes flat.
Salt

At the first sign of the "eruptions" stopping or becoming less frequent !

Eat a small bowl of rice with the yoghurt mixed in.
Mix 2 teaspoons of salt in the pepsi or coke and drink it.

If it doesn't stay in

do it again !

If it persists for 12 hours - see a doctor.

The good thing about this is that it can be given to kids - unlike Lomotil or Imodium

In the camps we used to give it to anything up to 200 kids a day and it worked!

( All the ingredients were in relief food packs from various agencies )

Good luck !

**Wayne Kerr** · 01-06-2008, 08:52 AM

Had the same yesterdax, now sitting in airport and praying I can get on the plane well before the next bout. Must get some yogurt in Manila.

**Blake7** · 01-06-2008, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

once you are kneeling your arsehole wants a piece of the action.

quite

**Happyman** · 01-06-2008, 10:41 AM

Best to get a plastic chair and sit in the shower with the water running

**kingwilly** · 01-06-2008, 10:54 AM

or just lay in the shower if you are feeling too ill to sit...

**Marmite the Dog** · 01-06-2008, 11:53 AM

Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp

I purchased a can of Leo and went to my room to drink it

Do you drink straight from the can (that's been under layers of rat shit until a quick wipe off and into the fridge)?

**Bluecat** · 01-06-2008, 12:06 PM

25 years ago when I was living in Africa, I came back to my place after a 2 weeks trip in some remote places.
I drunk the water that had been there for 2 weeks (the fridge was on and off at that time, more off than on actually due to the very erratic electricity distribution...).
The next day, my body could not accept anything, no drink, no food, nothing, I was vomiting everything.
And well, diarrhea is not the right word to describe the condition I was in, a bit like you intestines are liquifying...
Could not get up, was fainting after a few seconds.
Took me 3 days to be able to get up and go to see the nearest doctor, 100 kms away.
His comment, well, you're OK since you were able to come here. Nothing else to do...

**Happyman** · 01-06-2008, 12:57 PM

Originally Posted by Bluecat

25 years ago when I was living in Africa, I came back to my place after a 2 weeks trip in some remote places.
I drunk the water that had been there for 2 weeks (the fridge was on and off at that time, more off than on actually due to the very erratic electricity distribution...).
The next day, my body could not accept anything, no drink, no food, nothing, I was vomiting everything.
And well, diarrhea is not the right word to describe the condition I was in, a bit like you intestines are liquifying...
Could not get up, was fainting after a few seconds.
Took me 3 days to be able to get up and go to see the nearest doctor, 100 kms away.
His comment, well, you're OK since you were able to come here. Nothing else to do...

Exactly
Been there
Had that
Done that
Sympathies

Remedy above eases the pain though !

**Bluecat** · 01-06-2008, 01:10 PM

And the conclusion is, food is usually not the main culprit, if you're not sure of the water, do not drink it...

**stroller** · 01-06-2008, 01:11 PM

I'd add only a few sachets of re-hydrating salts to the "field kit" - better than coke and salt.
Stale bread seems to be as good as rice.

**stroller** · 01-06-2008, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by Bluecat

food is usually not the main culprit, if you're not sure of the water, do not drink it...

True.
In the Philippine Cordilleras I was offered water which my hosts insisted was clean, well they drank it.

I did not want to be impolite, and knew I was taking a risk...
A week later they hired a jeep and delivered me to the nearest hospital.

There was no water in the public toilet there, and I was attended to, eventually, by a trainee doc who confirmed the obvious -I had the squids, and was de-hydrated.
The prick failed to get the needle for the re-hydrating drip into the vein, and after my wrist was swollen blue after several attempts, I stopped him, grapped the bottle and proceeded to drink it under his protests. Had to use all my "white" and "old respected" authority bonus to get out of the place without any further meddling.

**Happyman** · 01-06-2008, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by stroller

I'd add only a few sachets of re-hydrating salts to the "field kit" - better than coke and salt.
Stale bread seems to be as good as rice.

Agree about the salts but we had to use what was at hand - water was shitty anyway !

Once again boiled rice was all we had - no doubt stale bread would do just as well - rice boiled in shitty water for long enough seemed to kill the bugs in the water ( but did bugger all for the taste !

)

Thanks for the input though - you ne you never know when you may need it !

**Fabian** · 01-06-2008, 08:10 PM

Take the rehydrating powder with Sprite.

**Happyman** · 01-06-2008, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by Fabian

Take the rehydrating powder with Sprite.

Could work but make sure it is flat !
The slightest "burp" can spell disaster !!!

**BobbyTits** · 01-06-2008, 10:48 PM

BRAT diet

Bread
Rice
Apples
Tea ( weak no sugar or milk)

Go slow and nurse your sphincter back to health

**sabang** · 02-06-2008, 12:12 AM

It's kinda strange, given all the Horror stories around, but having lived in Asia for 15 odd years, and having travelled to several other breeding grounds for nasty Bacteria, that by far the worse case of the Horrors that I experienced was actually in Sydney.

**Agent_Smith** · 02-06-2008, 01:43 AM

Originally Posted by sabang

experienced was actually in Sydney.

Same here, sorta. Been all over the planet but the worst attack happened when I was in Lake Tahoe, 350 miles from home.

Luckydog · 02-06-2008, 07:18 AM

The Greeks take plain Boiled Rice with a squeeze of Lemon on it.

If it's not too serious I find it works......

Get well soon old bean.

**Gerbil** · 02-06-2008, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by BobbyTits

Go slow and nurse your sphincter back to health

Wonder what Google's search engine will make of that statement?

**kingwilly** · 02-06-2008, 08:56 AM

hmmm, interesting...

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**kingwilly** · 02-06-2008, 09:01 AM

and these were the number one pics....

**Marmite the Dog** · 02-06-2008, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by Luckydog

The Greeks nurse your sphincter back to health

Indeed.

**Agent_Smith** · 02-06-2008, 09:28 AM

Google Advanced Search
Preferences.bl{display:none !important} Web Results 1 - 10 of about 78,300 for go slow and nurse your sphincter back to health. (0.30 seconds)

**El Gibbon** · 03-06-2008, 02:10 AM

As Happyman will verify, I had a world class episode of "the Hershey Squirts" while living in K. L. After a trip to the expat hospital (when I could manage to sit in a cab for 10 minutes - ie. when there was nothing left) where I was treated for de-hydration the doctor told me an interesting theory.

All White folk are at risk for sickness from various and multiple bacteria and germs, where the locals have 'adapted'. Most commonly described by the sufferers as food poisoning it is nothing more or less than a build up of bacteria that is 'triggered' into a spell of severe vomiting and expulsions. The local doctors called it White Man's disease and all had the same basic treatment.

Eat yogurt at least once a week, it keeps the good bacteria in your gut balanced.

E. G.

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