Thread: World’s first ‘smart condom’ which can track your thrusts and detect STIs

Imagine meeting someone in a bar. The drinks are flowing, the chemistry is popping, and you decide to throw caution to the wind by going home with them.
Just before you get down and dirty, you whip out your trusty condom and make them put it on. You also give them a condom ring to stick on top. They think you’re a bit OTT but they’re too far gone to question you.


Suddenly that ring tells you that the bloke you’re about to bed is riddled with STIs.
One fake emergency phone call later, and you’re trundling home in an over-priced Uber rather than schlepping to a GUM clinic the next morning.
Thank God for that trusty ring. If only we all had one of them.
Well, soon you’ll be able to because this week, British Condoms unveiled the first ‘smart condom’ that will not only record your sexual performance but will also be able to detect common STIs like Chlamydia.



‘Not only have we innovated the world’s first Smart Condom Ring that’ll measure pretty much every aspect of performance in the bedroom, but now I’m pleased to confirm that it will also have built-in indicators to alert the users to any potential STIs present,’ says Adam Leverson, lead engineer on the project.
As well as telling you what diseases you’ve picked up, the condom ring will monitor calories burnt, the number of thrusts, girth measurements and duration of intercourse – and all that data will be transferable to your smartphone.
While that sounds pretty creepy (you know Patrick Bateman would have studied all his conquests on such an app), the STI element could mean people identifying any infections earlier.



Mr S.Punter, spokesperson for British Condoms says: ‘We knew we were on the cusp of creating something special with i.Con and bringing a new meaning to ‘wearable tech’, but being advocates of safe sex, we wanted something more and the addition of an STI indicator has certainly done that.’
And apparently, there have been over 96,000 pre-orders for the product already.
The i.Con should be out later this year and is going to cost £59.99.
Prepare to be even more intimately acquainted with what your penis can do and what state it’s in.


Read more: World's first 'smart condom' can track your thrusts and detect any STIs | Metro News

Too expensive for most of the shrewd ones, here...

I don't use them anymore, these days I only floss.

I'd be afraid of it catching fire.

probably another scam by some UK company,

they probably crowdfunded it and got millions for it,

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

I'd be afraid of it catching fire.

Don't worry mate, saliva is not flammable, just stay off the neat spirits

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Originally Posted by harrybarracuda

I'd be afraid of it catching fire.

Don't worry mate, saliva is not flammable, just stay off the neat spirits

I think you've misread its use Dilly.

Unless you have gonorrhoea of the tongue or something.

The product is called i.con. The Spokesman is Mr S. Punter? Seriously? Is it April already?

If it is a scam, it's an elaborate one.

i.Con | The Worlds First Smart Condom | British Condoms

Originally Posted by DrB0b

The product is called i.con. The Spokesman is Mr S. Punter? Seriously? Is it April already?

He'll only need a Kilobyte version.

A device is only as smart as it's operator.

Indeed...But I suppose the foreplay could be fun if you planned it correctly...Reading the instructions together and checking the fit...

Sounds like a real "boner," this one...