The day started the evening before when I was dragged from my comfortable spot on the sofa by a couple of fucking reprobates knocking at the door demanding I drink copious amounts of premium lager beer with them. I begrudgingly accepted but the 10 or so pints of Kronenberg (1664, for your fucking information) was hardly conducive to waking the next morning ready for a day's worth of first-class roister-doistering with a pair of Teakdoor's finest.
So, after rising with half of my head on the pillow and the other cosily ensconced in a fucking pizza box, I quickly surmised that this was a job custom designed for 'hair of the dog', and without delay hit the road with one thing, and one thing only in mind:the exchanging of brief pleasantries with a turban attired newsagent owner who takes pride in purveying strong lager at incredibly good value.
I bought a pair of beers which I believe were of a Polish persuasion and weighed in at a fairly authoritative 5.6 percent volume. I can't be certain of the brand, but through the rapidly approaching onset of a furious fucker of a hangover, it looked a bit like, 'TZZZRREYGDYDPOLSKI'
Whatever it was called, both cans were gulped with gusto, allowing me to once again infiltrate the human race - I was, in fact, back in the room.
On to our rendezvous point, Wetherspoons, where Smug Bore Farang (herein known as 'The Smugster') and Sunsetter (herein referred to as 'The Setter') were waiting patiently at a table with an unrivalled vantage point of the pub. Both to our left, and to our right, were hordes of wasters going stoically about their duties of extreme riff-raffing.
Of course, this being Croydon, the riff-raffing capital of the world, and this being Whetherspoons, the riff-raffing capital of Croydon, we were in amongst quite a large amount of riff-raff.
In which case, when in Rome, old chap. To the bar!
Directors for The Smugster, cider for The Setter and lager for me. So, different drinks for different people.
Walk in here and shout 'Crystal Palace are fucking shite' if you want to liven up your afternoon.
The details are somewhat sketchy from mid-afternoon, but to my recollection it involved a lot of staggering around and bumping into things.