The Jomtien Kebab Place

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 08:16 PM

Ok this place is down on Jomtien beach road and I got 30 minutes to go, I am foking starving, it's 8pm and all I have eaten today is 3 tiny little poxy sausages from foodmart, in 30 minutes my galfriend finishes her teaching malarkey and then we are off down there, dont worry there will be pics

The last time I was there I nearly had a fight cos some cnut on his bike decided to cut in from the otherside of the road and try to park into the space I was reversing into, he started it so it wern't my fault cos i'm quite a well balanced chap, I'm not sure if I am banned from there or not but I really need a kebab, only 26 minutes to go before I can get some food now.

Did I tell you lot about the time me and me mate were in Indonesia?

Now this was a long time ago but we didn't have any cash with us, we had credit cards galore and travellers cheques, they didn't take them at that time, I used up most of my thai baht buying gold in Singapore for my galfriend at that time, so we got there and basically we couldn't eat, yep we went nearly 30 hours without food, we had enough money to buy some fruit or a packet of cigarrettes, my mate who doesn't smoke agreed to the packet of fags, but fok am I hungry now, 17 minutes to go...

Pattaya Restaurant Guide

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 10:16 PM

Well I am pretty well full up, now I have to admit this aint a classy restuarant with lots of ambience as this picture will show.

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 10:19 PM

of course as this pic leads to the toilet I thought it best to take a picture of the toilet, now it's not that bad having to walk through the kitchen to have a shite, infact the toilet is part of the kitchen, but don't forget these guys are turkish or something so hygene standards aint a word for them, anyway as you can see the bog is quite serviceable

**Marmite the Dog** · 06-10-2005, 10:20 PM

Was the food any good?

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 10:22 PM

Next we come to the staff, quite a misfit collection of freaks that can actually serve food which suprised the fok out of me, they had the poofy waiter, the 2 fat slags and a couple of normal gals.

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 10:33 PM

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

Was the food any good?

now slow down here a bit marmite, I was just getting to that

Now where was I? ahh, yes the food, unfortuneately the chips are those frozen stringys ones which taste crap and are crap, the kebab was pork, no foking chilli sauce, I mean where the fok did they think they were coming from when it aint a lamb kebab covered in grease and has chilli sauce on that will blow your spincter out the next day? Well I for one was not impressed, my galfriend who just ordered the french fries was not impressed, the last time we made the mistake of buying those stringy frozen french fries we just gave them to the dogs, thats how foking awful they are, I have to admit due to my hunger I did eat most of my meal though.

**Marmite the Dog** · 06-10-2005, 10:50 PM

No chilli sauce!

Sacreligeous! (fark knows how you spell that)

Have you tried the mobile kebab people in Pattaya? Bloody luvvly!

**Captain Sensible** · 06-10-2005, 10:53 PM

That plate of muck dont even resemble a kebab dog. It is a plate of meat bits with chips and a small salad. How much did they rip you off for that muck?

These are kebabs.........

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 10:54 PM

I believe I have tried all the mobile kebab places here, I love them

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 11:10 PM

there are many differant sorts of kebabs cap, those in your pic are shish kebabs, us lot in the UK mainly eat greasy doner kebabs

**Captain Sensible** · 06-10-2005, 11:15 PM

Originally Posted by dirtydog

there are many differant sorts of kebabs cap, those in your pic are shish kebabs, us lot in the UK mainly eat greasy doner kebabs

Sorry dog, you are quite right. Strange though. I thought you lot were in Thailand though. :?

Anyway, I cant find a pic of a donor kebab worth posting so I am going back to have another shot at you and Marmite the slut fer dissing other members gals. :P

**Marmite the Dog** · 06-10-2005, 11:16 PM

No worries, Cap. You can diss my girl (if & when I get one), OK?

**Captain Sensible** · 06-10-2005, 11:18 PM

<<Deleted by Mod. Inappropriate post.>> :grin:

**Marmite the Dog** · 06-10-2005, 11:21 PM

You can stop smiling now, Cap. I bet your face is aching by now?

**Captain Sensible** · 06-10-2005, 11:30 PM

:grin: Ouch.

**Marmite the Dog** · 06-10-2005, 11:43 PM

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 11:47 PM

could you 2 take your chat somewhere else, I am trying to talk about food here.

Anyway I wondered how I could make our food and entertainment section better than all the rest, cos we want to be leaders, we want to be the best and most informative forum about Thailand, we want to be the best, and then I had an idea, it's all well and good saying how great a place is and how good the food is but the proof is in the pudding so to speak, and we shall be the first to do this cos we are the best, anyway tomorrow morning I shall take a picture of my stool/pony/poopoo, this will be the ultimate guide in fine dining, yes you may have eaten at a 5 star place last night but how was your morning constituitinal? this is the ultimate test of fine restaurants, anyway tomorrow look forward to some fine pics of my toilet bowl

**Captain Sensible** · 06-10-2005, 11:47 PM

<<Again, deleted by Mod. You are on a warning Cap>>

**Marmite the Dog** · 06-10-2005, 11:50 PM

Hmm, I'd better buy a new toilet seat on Saturday...

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 11:55 PM

Anyway just so you lot can get a feel for this new idea, here is a picture of a few beers I had earlier

**dirtydog** · 06-10-2005, 11:57 PM

Now is this a first on thai forums? I got to admit I am a bit worried about the morning though

**Captain Sensible** · 07-10-2005, 12:02 AM

Oh dear. :?

**Marmite the Dog** · 07-10-2005, 12:06 AM

Hahaha!

**dirtydog** · 07-10-2005, 12:12 AM

anyway in about 7 hours we shall see what this looks like in the toilet bowl

PS: I would like to thank harry for this great idea, if he hadn,t sent me all those dirty disgusting scat pics I wouldn't have thought of it, i hope you all appreciate this as much as young harry does.

**dirtydog** · 07-10-2005, 01:22 AM

Teakdoor shall be the leader of eating in thai places and what came out afterwards, every forum needs its niche, although the last couple of days the stuff that has been coming out aint stuff i would eat, maybe I have worms....

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